MGMuseum Guard
I swear, Dr. Piltdown, it was a big lizard. Like a baby dinosaur.
PDr. Piltdown
If this is a joke, I'll put you in charge of the children's group tours!
MGMuseum Guard
Anything but that, Doc!
S2 E19Prehysterical Pet
Read my lips! Go home!
SSteggy
Oh, er, Dale?
Yeah?
SSteggy
I'd like it very much for you to come and live with me...
Oh, yeah?!
SSteggy
...but I'm not allowed to have any pets.
SSteggy
Oh, I am a dinosaur, but I come from another planet in a galaxy far, far, away. We've lived there happily for millions of centuries. Hidding in the clearings of the swamp-like environment. We've built cities to house our population. We've learned to live together in perfect harmony. There have been no wars, no fighting on our planet for thousands of years. For we have learned to be content with what we have. And through the years, our artists and scientists have contributed to our busy society, making our lives meaningful and complete. We have even stared the stars of the sky and developed our own space program to explore the planets of the Galaxies around us. One planet have particulary had the requirements necessary to support our life forms - the planet you call Earth. Millions of years ago, we launched a fleet of spacecrafts to travel to this planet. We maintained radio contact with them until soon after they landed here. Then without warning, all communications ceased. With the failure of our space program, we were too fearful to continue exploring the planets, and abandoned future space research. But I was determined to find out what happened to my ancestors. So, outfitting our last spaceship with the large supply of food packets, I travelled across the Universe to see for myself. Meanwhile at the natural history museum, my spaceship's being mistaken for a dinosaur egg.
S2 E20A Creep in the Deep
Reminds me of the time I visited the Leaning Tower in Italy. Had the best piece a' pizza in Pisa.
Random destruction. That's my kind of plan.
[about finding the abandoned submarine]
FCaptain Finn
It was practically brand-new! It only had 20,000 leagues on it.
[to Chip] I don't suppose you have a plan?
[walks past them carrying a glass cutter] No problem.
Do you always carry a glass cutter around with you?
No. Just when I want to cut glass.
Me tail's been slammed, singed, kinked and cracked! Now it's payback time!
S2 E21Normie's Science Project
Once I found a perpetual motion machine just lying in the trashcan. Of course, by then it had stopped moving.
Did you know mozarella conducts electricity twice as well as provolone?
The science fair was postponed... for repairs.
Haven't I told you never to play with my super-weapons? You could devastate yourself.
[Searching his record collection] Here it is! "Music To Devastate The Globe By". In Stereo.
[Professor Nimnul has activated his Molecular Audio Emphathizer, not knowing that the record he planned to use was replaced with a Boogie record]
Gee, uncle Norton, why do you want to destroy the city?
Because nobody takes a mad scientist seriously until he's leveled a city or two. But once I've proven my power, I'll have the whole world in my sway! [Pushes a button to view what his music has wrought]
Is the city in your sway, Uncle Norton?
No. It's just... swaying. That can't be the right record! For one thing, utter devastation always has more drums and cymbals.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.