Jay Halstead quotes from Chicago P.D.

Thought you were the delivery guy.

Halstead

Wish I was. Nice cat.

Halstead

Why'd you put him up to it?

Voight

We can sit here for days, kid. I make good money for over time.

Lindsay

I need to tell you something.

Halstead

You're married?

Ruzek

Listen, we... [writes something on a post-it note and sticks it to his coffee mug] We're thinking about putting together a task force on how to make coffee.

Dawson

Maybe you can help us arrange a press conference for that.

Ruzek

I got you started. Cream, two sugars. It's real simple.

Lindsay

I am not gonna make you coffee. [to Halstead] Come on, what about you?

Halstead

[laughs] I wasn't going to say anything. And then Lang called and he said you left your pant suit at the headquarters.

Halstead

I'm not really a sneak-around- behind-dad's-back kind of guy.

Lindsay

Says the guy that works undercover.

Halstead

[laughs] Let's just come clean. Voight will respect us more if we look him in the eye.

Halstead

Couldn't sleep the other night. So I was up watching TV, and I saw this doctor talking about commitment phobia. He was saying it had to do with family patterns and survival instincts. I'm just saying, you know, Bunny's been married, what, five times?

Lindsay

Don't try to psychoanalyze me, Jay. Have you given any more thought to whether or not we should tell Voight?

Halstead

No, we're not telling Voight.

Lindsay

He pardoned Burgess and Ruzek.

Halstead

Burgess was shot. Her and Ruzek are an exception to the rule. Do you want to take a bullet so that Voight will give his blessing?

Lindsay

I'd take a bullet just to come over to your house tonight. [raises eyebrows]

Halstead

[grins] What part of your body would you sacrifice?

Lindsay

Uh Shoulder? Fleshy part of the thigh.

Halstead

Now I feel special.

Lindsay

You should.

Lindsay

This is in Wisconsin?

Halstead

Yeah. Great fishing. Musky. Largemouth.

Lindsay

Mosquitoes? Like birds.

Halstead

But it's a great place to retire.

Lindsay

I'm not living in Northern Wisconsin.

Halstead

[grins teasingly] I don't remember asking you.

Lindsay

Antonio, would you ever live in Northern Wisconsin?

Dawson

Yeah. Snowmobiling, ice fishing, meth labs. It's paradise.

Halstead

You're not helping.

Halstead

[laughs as Ruzek is being tasered] That was worth the price of admission.

[looks at Halstead] You're next. [Halstead's smile disappears]

Atwater

[goads Halstead] Come on, man.

Lindsay

I volunteer to tase him.

Halstead

Okay, I mean, this doesn't seem, like, official enough.

Lindsay

Where do you want it? [smirks] S, P, A or G?

Halstead

Shoulders.

Dawson

G!

Atwater

[laughs] G!

Halstead

[glares at Lindsay] Don't you dare.

Mouse

Roll call, chain of command, it's almost like being back in fatigues, you know. I didn't think I'd miss it, but I do. I like the the structure. I need this.

Halstead

Don't screw it up.

Mouse

I won't. Hey, I want to let you know that I really appreciate you doing this for me.

Halstead

You were there for me, right?

Mouse

Yeah. Hey, you know what's crazy? Is that you and I we went through the exact same thing that day, and I've been I've been bouncing around ever since, and you've got the the world by the tail.

Halstead

Don't be so sure.

Mouse

Yeah. So what's going on? You, uh you seeing somebody?

Halstead

I guess I was for a minute.

Platt

Hey, Chuckles.

Halstead

Detective Chuckles, if you don't mind.

Platt

Little donnybrook down at Kitty O'Shea's. Officer on the scene wanted to know if you'd stop by.

Halstead

To do what, show him how to do his job?

Platt

No, keep your brother from getting locked up.

Will

So which one is she?

Don't.

Will

No, just nod your head. I mean, they're both hot. Or is it that desk sergeant from downstairs?

Yes, we're on the backburner right now.

Jay Halstead

You should have been here. Mom was dying, you were off partying.

Will Halstead

You left.

Jay

I left to fight a war. I came home.

Will

I saw Dad. He, uh, said you haven't spoken in a year.

Jay

Probably two.

Halstead

I still can't believe you let me drive.

Lindsay

It's my gift. [pauses] Well, it's from Nadia. I told her how you said you feel like a house husband riding shotgun all the time. [reminisces] And she got all righteous and she goes, "Erin, you need to let him drive a little."

Voight

Hey, I've been looking for you.

Halstead

You got a way of saying that where it never sounds like good news.

Lindsay

We're celebrating.

Halstead

What are we celebrating?

Lindsay

Hank is letting me move back into my apartment. He trusts me.

Halstead

Wow, that's huge.

Lindsay

Yeah. I think he just wants his bathroom back but whatever.

Halstead

Well, you can do some serious damage in a bathroom. [Lindsay slaps his arm in mock anger] What?? [chuckles] I just meant you're messy. You're a messy person. Seriously though, this is good. I was worried that hole you were digging was gonna be too deep.

Lindsay

I was lucky I had a lot of people reaching in to pull me out.