Alvin Olinsky quotes from Chicago P.D.

Olinsky

If I didn't screw up, those girls wouldn't be dead.

Olinsky

You have to make so many death notifications on this job. I remember every one. Now to be able to walk up to someone's door, someone who's lost so much, and bring good news? It's a blessing.

Ruzek

When's the last time you brushed your teeth?

Olinsky

I'm supposed to be homeless, man.

Ruzek

That's not a good excuse.

Ruzek

[notices the adult diapers Olinsky is holding] Wait, wait, wait. What are those for?

Olinsky

You're on a stakeout for who knows how long drinking that fluorescent poison you're not gonna be able to hold it.

Ruzek

You can't be serious. I'll find somewhere to take a leak.

Olinsky

You know, when I was a rookie, I was assigned to keep eyes on this B&E crew that nobody could touch.

Ruzek

Right.

Olinsky

The first time I got eyes on him, I lost him. You know why?

Ruzek

No.

Olinsky

'Cause I had to take a piss. And I'm gone three, four minutes tops. And I say to myself, "Next time I got eyes on him, I'm not gonna move. I'm not going anywhere." And that's where these came in. And I nailed the crew pulling a million-dollar score.

Halstead

You speak Italian? Where'd you pick it up?

Olinsky

I was stationed in Vicenza.

Halstead

You served?

Olinsky

Yeah, A.B.C.T., part of a rapid response team. It's about an hour away from everyone. You?

Halstead

Rangers. Afghanistan.

Olinsky

Well, that explains a lot.

Halstead

[smirks] Were you ever injured in the line of crushing grapes?

Olinsky

Excuse me?

Halstead

Was that in World War II?

Olinsky

I can't hear you.

Platt

Hey, Olinsky, department's pushing back on these expense reports you turned in.

Olinsky

[to Ruzek] You owe me 27 bucks.

Ruzek

No, no, no. Nobody told me that we got to go out of pocket on stakeouts.

Platt

Is that so? Oh, great. Order some caviar and lobster tails next time, then.

Ruzek

Al. Alvin, you're not listening to me.

Olinsky

Well, you talk so much, it's hard to know when I'm supposed to listen and when I can just tune out.

Ruzek

Sheesh. You're miserable.

Olinsky

No kidding, kid. But you'll learn.

Ruzek

I'm not you, old man. You can keep your misery. I'm all sunshine and roses over here. Peachy keen, Mr. Bean.

Halstead

[opens his door and sees Olinsky at his doorstep] Hey.

Olinsky

I figured you might be drinking. A man shouldn't be drinking alone.

Olinsky

What, were you raised in a trailer park?

Halstead

Works the same, right?

Ruzek

I'm just saying, Jay, you got a target on your head and you don't seem too phased.

Halstead

Overseas, my unit and I, we always had a bounty on us.

Dawson

Most gangs only pay 10G for a cop. If you're really worth 100, I should take you out myself. Pay off my mortgage.

Halstead

Right. Try it.

Olinsky

Coke dealer, one time, put a million dollar tag on me and Voight. [everyone stares at Olinsky]

Halstead

What?

Ruzek

How'd you handle that?

Olinsky

Well, you dust yourself. Never go home the same way twice. Run red lights. If a car follows you through one, you chamber a round and you handle business.

Olinsky

So they got you in protective custody, I hear. You got a lot of enemies in gen pop, don't you?

[scoffs] Nah. Just friends. I got friends everywhere.

Olinsky

Me too. The warden used to be a cop. I know you're afraid to die, Oskar. I could always see it in your eyes. So I'm here to give you one chance to live. You call off the hit on Halstead, and you tell me who it was tried to take him out at that bar.

Wait, wait we're talking about the Detective Halstead that killed my brother? That Halstead?

Olinsky

Listen to me. Carefully. I'm giving you one chance.

[taps the counter] I'm doing time. Trying to get my head around that. [smugly] Can't be worried about the outside world.

Olinsky

[excitedly] Oh, yeah, it's been a while since we pulled a rip. I forgot how much fun it was.

Halstead

[grins] I've done some pretty crazy recon missions. That got my heart pumping.

Voight

Devil in the white city.

Olinsky

Back in hell where he belongs.

Detective, the owner of Pure Green Medicals is waiting for you.

Atwater

Really? Plaing for the bad guys now?

Halstead

At least it's for money. Olinsky would volunteer.

Olinsky

Bring me some edibles.

Ruzek

You know, I read that something like 73% of men mess around with their wives.

Olinsky

Where'd you read that?

Ruzek

[smirks] Playboy

Atwater

You took out the centerfold right?