Herrmann quotes from Chicago Fire

[takes a pot of stew to Otis] Ok, I need a volunteer.

Otis

No way. Ugh!

I'll try it.

[grins] Sylvie! [hands her a spoon]

No, no!

[takes a sip and gags] Tangy.

Dominican sausage and peppers.

Dude, if you keep calling your food "Dominican", I am going to have to kick your ass on behalf of an entire country.

Who's gonna be the cook?

Otis

Hey, listen, I've got a cousin... [Cruz glares at him] ....really nice Russian girl––

No more cousins from you.

Mouch, you have got to cancel. Trudy is not the type of woman who can be trifled with.

Mouch

I know. You're right.

Wait, hold on a sec. Mouch is a grown man. Trudy's got no right to tell him who he can and cannot break bread with.

Mouch

There's a certain amount of logic to that.

[to Mouch] I told you not to get Chief involved. You don't need to add this to your plate of concerns, just forget the whole thing happened––

Mouch, I outrank him. When I say that you have to cancel, you have to cancel, and that is an order.

Mouch

When you're right, you're right.

You know what? The two of you, get out of my office.

Guy must have lost his mind, running in like that.

Ah, that's marriage, brother. I'd do anything for Cindy, no matter what might happen to me.

[passes a boot around to collect donations] Don't be crying poor on me, Capp. I know what your side job pulls in, come on.

You don't even know what my side job is.

Sure I do. You're a–– [Capp grins at him] Come on, just throw a 20 in.

Mouch

I don't even understand where Baba's sleeping.

Otis

I have bunk beds.

You put the babushka on a bunk?

Otis

She grew up sleeping in a barn. And it's not like I make her sleep on the top bunk most nights.

Look, I'll admit that Baba has her certain charms, but you gotta take her out to dinner or something tomorrow night, all right? [looks at Otis sternly] Sylvie's coming at 9:00 p.m., and you will not ruin this for me.

Otis

I'm telling you, it's zero problem, man. Baba goes to sleep at 8:00 p.m. You won't even know she's there.

You need anything, lady?

Time machine.

You and me both.

Hey, what do you guys know about Erik McAuley? [everyone groans in response]

[chuckles] McAuley the paramedic. He's the worst. Mr. Doom-and-Gloom.

Total bummer. Why?

Since Mills is working Squad, McAuley's gonna relieve him on ambo.

Oh, God!

No. No, he's not. [notices Boden] Chief, are you bringing McAuley in?

Yes, I'm short a medic.

No! No way. I'll go work on ambo before McAuley comes back here and brings the whole house down with his Eeyore routine.

Okay, good. Casey. You willing to give up your candidate for a few shifts till I find myself somebody permanent?

Wait, what?

Sure.

Thank you, Dawson.

Yay! Hey, great. Help me with inventory.

[glares back] Yeah, okay. Great.

Mouch

[sees Herrmann scratching the numbers of a lucky draw slip] Damn, you know you have a better chance of getting hit by a truck, right?

People get hit by trucks everyday. Otherwise, we'd be out of the job.

It's a funny thing about tornadoes ain't it? They just drop out of the sky like some random act you've got no control over.

A lot of things do that to us.

Christopher Herrmann, collect call from Pinckneyville State Prison.

Regarding what???

[glares at Herrmann] Probably something prison related.

Herrmann, did you try and rig it by making Jimmy look like a bum so we'd all get fleeced?

Yes.

See this is why I don't bet on sports.

Also, you don't understand them.

I'll post a copy over at Molly's. Ten percent off all drinks for anybody who signs the petition.

Mouch

Pretty sure that's illegal.

Five percent then.

Mouch

Still illegal.

Stella, I can't hire your broken-down ex for my only daughter's birthday.

He'll do it for free as long as he gets to record it.

Deal.

Mouch

Hitting us twice in two shifts takes balls.

First thing I'm going to cut off when we catch him.

[sees Otis trying to get Herrmann unstuck from a mousetrap] Hm, couldn't resist the cheese, huh?

You try setting that medieval contraption!