Cruz quotes from Chicago Fire

I know we won't be as cool as Shayveride but if you think about it, "Crotis" could be epic.

[to Severide] Hold up, you let her borrow your car?? You don't even let me look at your car.

That's it?!

Otis

Anything to piss off the engine.

Otis

What's with the goat?

What?

Otis

The Truck 81 seal, or symbol..or whatever it's called. It's a goat.

It's a fighting goat.

Otis

Yeah. [looks at Squad 3's table] They've got Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of hell and we got a freakin' goat.

[sees Mills behind the kitchen counter] Hey, you know about "fire fans", Peter Mills?

Otis

They're chicks who follow firemen like flies to honey.

Bees, Otis. "Bees to honey."

Otis

Whatever, we're still the honey.

Oh! Good afternoon, candidate.

Sorry.

Otis

First he blows a no-hitter. Now he's coming in five minutes late. So much for employee of the week.

You know, you were the candidate up until two weeks ago. Why are you riding him so hard?

Otis

The abused abuse, Cruz.

Okay, um...how about a t-shirt booth in the driveway?

We already sell t-shirts.

Yeah, but I mean, no one can ever find the key to the cabinet, Herrmann never has change in the treasury box. It's a pain in the ass, so we put the shirts out front and display 'em properly.

Mouch

I don't know how that's gonna generate enough money––

And, we get Nicki to man the booth.

Ding. Done.

That is called putting it over the goal line, Peter Mills. [fist-bumps Mills]

Why don't you put her in a bikini while you're at it?

Otis

Before I respond, are you joking, or are you serious?

About as serious as putting you in a bikini.

Mouch

Look at these chumps.

Are you kidding, man? Parade detail is great.

Mouch

[to Mills who is behind him] Peter Mills, hold your arm up. Now keep it there for five hours. [to Cruz] That's what being the parade is.

Mills, the Shriners, they throw out candy. You clean up man.

[hands Cruz a cup for the drug test] Fill 'er up.

Hey, uh, does it matter if I had a ton of pancakes this morning?

It matters if they were made of crack.

[sees Otis digging the bullets out of the truck's frontmost door] Dude!

Otis

I know...it's a goat, but it's our goat.

Why the hell are you studying Japanese?

Mouch

I..went online...once you turn fifty, your brain starts to atrophy unless you keep it in shape.

I think that train's already left the station, Mouch.

Say something in Japanese.

Mouch

I just started.

Otis

I bet twenty bucks that in two weeks you won't be able to string along a sentence.

Mouch

Easiest money I ever made!

I can tell this soup really smells like socks, Otis.

Otis

Just wait till it hits your taste buds!

It's weird without Otis here. Who am I supposed to jag?

Don't look at me.

And Severide's gone too. I mean, he's as cocky as they come, but if you were lying in the street, he'd give you the shirt off his back.

Mouch

If you're lying in the street, why do you need his shirt?

You know what I mean.

In light of recent events recent allegations, rather personnel division has flagged this house for sexual harassment sensitivity training.

Uh, Chief? I think actually it's sexual harassment and sensitivity training. 'Cause the way that you just said it, it makes it sound like we have to be sensitive toward sexual har–– [notices Boden's glare and stops rambling]

Guys, guys, I have an announcement to make. Please, I need everybody's attention. Today, I came across something so upsetting that it literally shook me to the core. I was in the laundry room. I was pulling my stuff from the washer to the dryer, and I discovered these left inside. [holds up a pair of red underwear]

Don't look at me. I've been a Fruit of the Loom man since 1975.

Mouch

Twenty bucks to whoever finds the owner.

[takes the underwear from Cruz] Hey, first, they ain't mine. Second, these don't come down until the owner steps forward. I can't unsee this. Someone has to pay.

Otis

He who smelt it hath dealt it.

[looks pointedly at Otis] You're nuts. Those look like something that a Russian would wear on his wedding night.

Otis

They're not mine. But, I will put my money on Capp.

Mouch

[sarcastically] Keep deflecting, Otis. It's a good strategy.