Brett quotes from Chicago Fire

Hey, what do you guys know about Erik McAuley? [everyone groans in response]

[chuckles] McAuley the paramedic. He's the worst. Mr. Doom-and-Gloom.

Total bummer. Why?

Since Mills is working Squad, McAuley's gonna relieve him on ambo.

Oh, God!

No. No, he's not. [notices Boden] Chief, are you bringing McAuley in?

Yes, I'm short a medic.

No! No way. I'll go work on ambo before McAuley comes back here and brings the whole house down with his Eeyore routine.

Okay, good. Casey. You willing to give up your candidate for a few shifts till I find myself somebody permanent?

Wait, what?

Sure.

Thank you, Dawson.

Yay! Hey, great. Help me with inventory.

[glares back] Yeah, okay. Great.

Otis

Are you asking me out?

Uh, yeah. I talked to Cruz and he said it was cool.

Herrmann, did you try and rig it by making Jimmy look like a bum so we'd all get fleeced?

Yes.

See this is why I don't bet on sports.

Also, you don't understand them.

Luckily, there's a police officer who owes me a favor. Not like that. I mean -- it's, it's not what you think.

Jimmy

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh Oh, Alderman Casey!

Alderman Casey, Alderman Casey.

Mouch

Electrical pole in my backyard blocks my view. Anything you can do?

Alderman Casey, I have a pothole the size of Lake Michigan on my street.

Otis

Uh, some guy keeps pissing in the elevator in my and Cruz's building.

Okay. All right. You guys feel free to write all that down and leave it on my desk.

Oh, hey, check it out. "New alderman for the 52nd ward, Matthew Casey."

Oh, "Casey with his wife by his side."

Ha! It Actually says wife. Damn, did I miss my own wedding?

Well, I would have invited you, but you get so rowdy at parties.

Ooh, Alderman speaks the truth.

Mouch

I'd kill to miss my wedding. Speaking of, anybody want to write some vows?

Hey, I got a smokin' dress for that wedding. You better make it good.

The main firefighter's nickname is "Manimal" because he's half-man, half-animal in the sack

Mouch

Not that's not...that...That, that's ridiculous.

"Mouch", Man-couch.

Mouch

First of all, I'm pretty sure "Manimal" is a copyright violation. Second of all, he's married to a police sergeant.

You okay?

It's a clown.

It's an idiot with makeup on. Some internet fad scaring people.

Well, it works.

[sees Otis trying to get Herrmann unstuck from a mousetrap] Hm, couldn't resist the cheese, huh?

You try setting that medieval contraption!

Brett, what's going on?

Okay, look. I am batting about a zero with men lately. Good men, bad men, all men. I'm either pushing them away, or they're pushing me, and then I look at you, and I think, "Wow, what she has is perfect."

You know how many guys I had to date before I met Casey? There was Jake, who cheated on me with his high school girlfriend, and Logan, whose parents could not approve of a Latino. And finally Dr. Mike. He was about as romantic as a German teacher. Look, the point is there were a lot of really bad breakups before Casey. Your Casey is out there, but you don't have to change who you are to find him.