Shay quotes from Chicago Fire

We need women who kick ass on these trucks, you know, and Dawson if there's anything I know about you, is that you kick ass.

Ok, it's official. I've seen everything. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like a big caboose as much as the next guy but how do you pay a charlatan $1500 to pump construction adhesive into your ass?

[to Otis] You and Katie hanging out, having fun gettin' all hetero on each other. And then like most relationships, it ends badly. And Katie goes to Severide and she's like, [feigns sobbing] Otis broke my heart, Kelly, he broke my heart! [mimicks knife-slashing the throat] That's how that'll end, all right?

Yo Peter Mills. My partner Shay, she's been asking about you, been talking about you all morning.

Otis

She's a monster. A dude I know over at 19, he walked with a hitch for a week.

You guys are busting my balls.

Listen to me, kid. I just lost my house to foreclosure because I took a bath in the market. We're now living with my in-laws, which is two bedrooms shy of unpleasant. My wife won't take birth control pills because the pope said if she did God would cry, so I'm not having any sex. So if there's any chance that I could live vicariously through you, it's literally all I got.

All right.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm Peter Mills. Uh Pete.

[chuckles] Uh-huh. Peter Mills. Can you hand me that box right there?

Uh, yeah.

Thanks.

So the little girl from the bridge accident, she okay?

You really are new, aren't you? Listen. We get 'em to the doctor best we can, and then we move on. It's the only way to make it here.

Uh, yeah Yeah. So, um I was thinking I mean, I was wondering do you maybe wanna hook up for a beer or dinner or something?

Peter Mills, are you gay?

Me? No.

Because I am.

[to Shay and Dawson] Good morning.

Uh-oh. We're either in trouble or he wants something.

What we got in the treasury box?

Dick. We spent it all on the elliptical machine so Shay could keep her ass toned.

Oh, Herrmann, please. Everyone benefits from me having a toned ass.

Mills, you're in charge of a fundraiser for a new TV.

[hopefully] Instead of cooking?

In conjunction with cooking.

Otis

I believe it's called multitasking.

Okay, um...how about a t-shirt booth in the driveway?

We already sell t-shirts.

Yeah, but I mean, no one can ever find the key to the cabinet, Herrmann never has change in the treasury box. It's a pain in the ass, so we put the shirts out front and display 'em properly.

Mouch

I don't know how that's gonna generate enough money––

And, we get Nicki to man the booth.

Ding. Done.

That is called putting it over the goal line, Peter Mills. [fist-bumps Mills]

Why don't you put her in a bikini while you're at it?

Otis

Before I respond, are you joking, or are you serious?

About as serious as putting you in a bikini.

Why the hell are you studying Japanese?

Mouch

I..went online...once you turn fifty, your brain starts to atrophy unless you keep it in shape.

I think that train's already left the station, Mouch.

Say something in Japanese.

Mouch

I just started.

Otis

I bet twenty bucks that in two weeks you won't be able to string along a sentence.

Mouch

Easiest money I ever made!

You're working?

Well, with you faking it somebody's gotta step up.

Listen, it's not too late to switch teams.

You already moved in, let's take it slow.

Mouch

How's the noodle?

Hard as ever.

Mouch

That's what-

That what he said.

[sees Casey standing on the truck fixing the garage door] What's up?

Otis

The door's jammed.

I told Chief we needed to grease this puppy before the weather turned.

Otis

He ignored you?

No! He told me to do it but I forgot. I've been preoccupied.

Mouch

Weren't you and Cindy using protection?

We've got four kids Mouch. I was counting on my sperm being too tired to make the swim. [Casey looks down at him in amusement]

[awkwardly] Well, I'm gonna head inside and check the levels on the hot chocolate. [leaves]

Yeah, I'm gonna provide back-up. [leaves with Shay]

Otis

[to Mills] You know, my grandmother had this garage door that was always stuck two feet off the ground so one time I tell my brother...

[notices them raising their hands] What?

We've got a rule. You tell a story we've all heard a million times, we raise our hand, you gotta shut up, no questions asked.

Otis

That's actually impolite and insulting.

[scoffs] Like that's on us.

[facetiously] Aw, dad, can we keep it? Huh, can we? Can we? Can we?

Keep what?

The dog.

Shay, this is that baby book I was telling you about. Lots of good stuff. Swaddling, soothing...

Thanks, Herrmann. Hey do you know if it says anything about sleep schedules?

[sheepishly] I didn't read it.

[after Severide refuses to give her a glass of wine] You suck!

Severide

You gotta get your oven ready for that bun, baby.