Randy quotes from Cheap Seats

Jason

What do you think imaginary spelling dinosaur.

Randy

Well I think your fucking crazy Rebecca.

Jason

Hey everybody welcome to Cheap Seats.

Randy

What are you doing?

Jason

What am I doing, what are you doing? You look like a star spangled idiot.

Randy

Ah no I look like Evel Knievel and you were suppose to wear the costume too.

Jason

Whoa ok no I never said I was going to wear a costume.

Randy

Earlier today you said we were going to Knievel it up.

Jason

Right, we're going to go out there Knievel it up get our dare on, go wild.

Randy

When I hear someone say Knievel it up I assume that means put on a costume.

Jason

Ok no. I have been Knieveling it up way longer than you have. Ok and if you want to Knievel it up like a master, you're going to have to remember one thing ok. Knieveling it up here, Knieveling it up here, Knieveling it up never here!.

Randy

So what I'm I suppose to do now.

Jason

Your're suppose to be Knieveling it up! God!

Randy

Why does Evel have a giant magic wand?

Jason

No the question is how come we don't have magic wands?

Randy

I know.

Awesome!!!

Here's those tapes you wanted

Randy

Sweet!

Jason

No Way!

Randy

Let's see Dandy Don relax a plate of these.

Jason

Hey gimmie a cookie.

Randy

No.

Jason

Give me a cookie.

Randy

No.

Jason

Give me a cookie!

Jason

Dude you're a dick.

Randy

You're a dick.

Jason

No you are.

Randy

You are.

Jason

You!

Randy

Dude you turned me into a magic wand.

Jason

Yeah I did.

Randy

Well which wand am I?

Jason

I don't know!

Randy

The handle bars in the back end of a motorcycle?

Jason

Has Evel ever seen a motorcycle?

Randy

Did Evel just say that his back splattered?

Jason

It's your back Evel not a watermelon.

Randy

Doesn't it sound like there's another motorcycle behind him.

Jason

Damn you Fonzie!

Randy

This woman reminds me of someone.

Jason

Shanda the dancing intern.

Randy

No.

Jason

Dickie Thon?

Randy

Yes, yes thank you that was going to bother me all day.

Randy

Such a shame.

Jason

Ah what is.

Randy

Evel, the man was at the peak of his career here and yet he died penniless.

Jason

Uhh he's actually still alive and I'm pretty sure he's got some money.

Randy

Maybe, but he could've had alot more money if he hadn't made that one business decision that was a little too daring.

Jason

Which business decision?

Randy

Knievel's Knishes.

Jason

That's Jewish fast food that doesn't sound very daring.

Randy

He opened seven locations in the Gaza Strip.

Jason

uff.

Randy

Four more in Takiron.

Jason

Wow.

Randy

And his opening one more in Damascus.

Jason

Shut up!

Randy

Do you care that Evel once beat a writer with a baseball because he didn't like what he wrote about him.

Jason

Wow, not good to be that guy.

Randy

No.

Jason

Wait a minute should we be worried suddenly i do care.

Randy

Relax Jay, he's dead and penniless now.

Jason

He's not dead Ran.

Randy

Alright, well what are the chances he's actually watching this show.

Jason

Hello, what I'm so sorry.

Randy

Who's that?

Jason

It was mom we forgot to get a birthday card for Gordon.

Randy

Oh my god are we fucked!. Hey Shanda

Randy

Usually everything happens so fast in Evel's life.

Jason

Yeah he's got a lot time now to think about what went wrong here.

Randy

Until he crashes into the rocks and dies.

Randy

Land in the water. Land in the water.

Jason

Land in the water.

Doh!

Jason

Well I guess he's dead what else is on tv tonight?

Jason

Evel may have not nailed that jump but did you know that in 1999 he was inducted into the motorcycle Hall of Fame?

Randy

I didn't even know there was a motorcycle Hall of Fame. Who else is in there?

Jason

Relly Leak, Fonzie, Henry Winkler.

Randy

Whoa whoa whoa isn't that the same guy.

Jason

No Ran. I watched Fonzie. I love Fonzie. Kelly Leak you are no Fonzie!

Randy

Hello.

Jason

Who is it?

Randy

uh huh. uh huh. Hold on. It's Kelly Leak.

Jason

What does he want?

Randy

He wants to play me at air hockey. If he wins I gotta go to a movie with him.

Jason

What if you win?

Randy

What if I win? I get the tip of his finger.

Jason

Sweet.

Randy

Your on (beep). I mean that in the best possible way.

Randy

Hey everybody welcome back to Cheap Seats. Now the snake river canon jump was a big departure for Evel. It's like when Jordan played for the White Socks or when Shaq did did Kazaam or Blue Chips or tried to rap.

Jason

But just like Jordan coming back to play for the Wizards. Evel eventually got to his bread and butter.

Randy

Yelling at Kwame Brown.

Jason

Yep and jumping buses on a motorcycle.

Jason

Yello.

Randy

Who is it?

Jason

It's Kwame Brown. Oh your mad yeah we don't care because your Kwame Brown Ha!

Randy

I feel you were too nice to him.

Jason

Really?

Randy

Mmmhmm.

Jason

Well that's our show thanks for watching. Wait when did you put that outfit back on?

Randy

During the Cheapies.

Jason

But that was like twenty seconds ago.

Randy

Yeah listen I wanna go back to something you said earlier on the show about Knieveling it up not being here. I totally disagree and I think you'll agree with me in about three seconds.

Jason

Oh yeah why's that?

Randy

Because BANG!

Jason

Come on!

Randy

Because POW!

Jason

Randy

Randy

Jesus you know what I think I actually got the price tag up on this one. Because Zim.

Randy

No.. shoot what if I just Zooy!!

Jason

I'am not a cop.

Randy

Knevely!

Jason

Not cool Ran not cool!

Randy

What dude I bought these wands at Costco they were on sale..

Jason

Good I don't care!

Randy

I have like a bunch of batteries like six hundred double A batteries. I'm sorry.

Frisbee montage yo!