Richard Castle quotes from Castle

Esposito

If your hero’s fictional cop buddies are anything like your real cop buddies, then they’d have real work to get back to. So, bye bye now.

Castle

What if our hero was offering Knicks floor seats?

Beckett

Do you realize how many laws were broken by looking at that photo? Are you trying to get me fired?

Castle

Would make it easier to see you.

Beckett

Not if I was in jail.

Castle

Right.

If he has the toxin and the antidote, they'll find 'em

Castle

Thanks. For letting me be a part of this.

When you write your next novel, maybe you'll find a place for a dashing Colombian-American federal agent.

Castle

Consider it done.

You want a coffee?

Castle

Ah, no. I’d rather die than drink any more of that sludge. [McCord makes a face and Castle winces] Too soon?

Castle

…Tell you what, though. Next time I say I’m dying to see you, let’s keep it metaphoric.

Beckett

Deal.

Alexis

Morning Dad. I hope Pi and I didn't wake you.

We're making smoothies.

And yet, for me, not so smooth.

Mr. Castle, you're back. But not by popular demand.

Castle

Good to see you too, Perlmutter

Beckett

[Lowered voice] What are you doing here?

Castle

Me? What am I doing? What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming to town?

Beckett

I was gonna surprise you.

Castle

Well done.

Ryan

Let's say Hank did embezzle money and killed Charlie to silence him. Why are the feds involved?

Castle

Well, maybe it has something to do with the Russians

Esposito

Well, if we knew the feds' angle, we'd have a leg up on solving this.

Castle

Sorry guys. I've yet to come up with a crazy, genius theory yet. [Realizes Ryan and Esposito had stopped walking]

Ryan

You don't need to. Not when you can go directly to the source.

Esposito

Get Beckett to give us the lowdown.

Castle

Okay, wait a minute...

Ryan

We get much-needed case information, you get to clear up any lingering doubts about your loyalty. Everybody wins.

Castle

Okay, guys, no, I can't do that, all right? After D.C., we promised we wouldn't-

Esposito

We did you a solid getting you on this case, Castle. It's time to pay up.

Castle

Guys, this is my fiancée, okay? What does it say about our future if I keep pushing the boundaries?

Ryan

Castle, you whole relationship is built on the foundation of your boundary-pushing.

Castle

...Good point.

Castle

You know it must be weird for you, being back here at the precinct, working a case.

Beckett

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Castle

Yeah, especially since McCord's little gag order prevents you from accessing your most effective investigative tool. [Hands her a cup of latte] Me.

Beckett

[Taking the cup] Yeah, you are a tool, all right. Wow.

Castle

So, uh, she's not here right now, so what's the harm in giving me a little tidbit?

Beckett

This is a bribe. Castle, you're bribing me with a latte?

Castle

No, I am not. Come on. Don't be ridiculous.

Beckett

This is low, even for you.

Castle

Look, I can solve this. I just need a little more to go on.

Beckett

Castle, you're not gonna "Castle" me on this one.

Ryan

[To Esposito] Ha! You mocked Dewey. But not only was he a secret agent, look at that. [Points to Svetlana] He was a stud.

Castle

It's Romeo and Juliet. With a nerdy Romeo.

Esposito

And a smoking hot Russian Juliet.

Castle

Playing the anonymous source card? I mean, that is pure genius. It-it actually makes me love you more.

Beckett

Well, she's filing for asylum, and the State Department's gonna help relocate her, so, hopefully that'll keep her safe.

Castle

Yeah, but even working for the feds, you found the ultimate way to honor the victim. Charlie died trying to get Svetlana away from her dangerous family. You completed his mission.

Beckett

Yeah, but you would've done the same thing, Castle.

Castle

Yes. Yes, and I would love me more for doing it too.

Beckett

Castle. Are you asleep?

Castle

Yes.

Beckett

Then why did you answer me?

Castle

I'm sleep-talking. Also known as somniloquy. Just ignore me.

Beckett

I don't know what to do.

Castle

I have some ideas.

Beckett

No, Castle, I'm talking about my life. I don't know what to do about my life. I haven't been out of work since I was 15. I cannot believe that the FBI fired me, and I can't get my job back at the NYPD because of the commissioner's stupid hiring freeze. I might as well just apply to become a mall cop.

Castle

Ooh. You would look great on a Segway. You know, Beckett, you don't have to decide right away.

Beckett

Come on, Castle. What are you saying? What am I gonna do, just sleep in every morning and screw around until the phone rings? What kind of life is that?

Castle

Mine.

Beckett

(realizing) Sorry.

Castle

I just mean that, you're with me, now. You don't have to work.

Beckett

I don't need to work? Does that mean you're my...sugar daddy?

Castle

Oh. Hold on, that didn't...come out...actually, I'm still sleep-talking. I can't really be held responsible for whatever I say.

[Bursting into the room without knocking] Wow, even when you're fighting you two are super cute.

Castle

Pi...

Morning Mr. C, Mrs. C-to-be

So we're gonna need a code word that tells us that you need help. What, uh...What's your favorite food.

Castle

Oh. Um... Are we talking everyday food or fine dining? If desserts are included, there's-

Beckett

Cheeseburgers. He loves cheeseburgers.

Castle

I do enjoy a good cheeseburger.

Castle

...And I brought donuts.

Hey.

Um, gluten-free?

Castle

Dude, they're donuts. Either you're in or you're out.