"Abandon ship! Women and Simons first!" ~Simon
Hey, are you guys all right?
Simon: Yeah. We're in hamburger heaven.
That's it! I've found Captain N's weak spot.
King Hippo: Uh, you mean he's afraid of rats?
I learned this recipe from my uncle Lenny back in New York. Trust me princess, this is gonna be the coolest thing you ever tasted.
Lana: What exactly is a pizza?
Kevin: Oh, this is no ordinary pizza, it's a Captain N Special. N for nuts, N for nectarines, N for nachos... (Duke grabs the pizza) And N for "No"!
Lana: I think you better rename it the Duke Special.
"What a shrimp! And every shrimp needs a shrimp salad!" ~Eggplant Wizard
"Yes. Well, it was very nice of you to drop by. Do come back and visit us soon, say, twenty years?" ~Simon
Stand back. Simon Belmont will take care of this deadly beast! (pulls out a golf club and gets ready to hit the lizard)
Kevin: Don't you think that's the wrong weapon for the job?
Simon: You're absolutely right. (throws the golf club aside, pulls out a rocket launcher, and points it at the lizard)
(as the baby dragon licks him) Knock it off! I'm not your mother!
Kevin: No, but you probably smell like her.
I'll see what the lightning bolt can do. Simon, you try on the armor.
Simon: But I look awful in gold!
Forget the food! This is the chance of a lifetime!
King Hippo: FORGET THE FOOD?!
Eggplant Wizard: Don't you get it? If Link and Zelda are coming here, there won't be anyone left on Hyrule but their flunkies!
King Hippo: They'll give us food?
Eggplant Wizard: No, banana brains! The alarm's been turned off! We can steal the Triforce for ourselves!
King Hippo: Then we can make Ganon's servants give us food!
"Oh, boy! Next to vampires, dragon-hunting is my favorite sport!" ~Simon
But Simon, that's an ironing board.
Simon: Yes, and how appropriate for flattening my competition.
Who am I?
Kevin: You're Simon Belmont, the vampire hunter.
Simon: No, no, I'm definitely not him. I'd never forget a name like that.
"Thank you, Captain M. And thank you, Kid Licorice, Mega Mutt, Princess Lea, and you too, Puke". ~Simon, after getting amnesia
KHKing Hippo + Eggplant Wizard
The stains of brains stay mainly on the veins.
Mother Brain: I'll stain your brains if you don't get yourselves to Kongoland now!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Captain N: The Game Master pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.