Randi quotes from Call Me Kat

Randi

What?!

Carter

Well, just stop texting Daniel!

Randi

Oh, my God. What is wrong with you?!

Carter

I don't know. I don't want to lose you. Okay?

Randi

Why do you think you're going to lose me?

Carter

Because you're out of my league in every way possible.

Randi

Well, that's the first smart thing you said all night, but you're not gonna lose me.

Carter

Well, how did I know that?

Randi

Because I love you, dumbass.

Kat

Alright, thank you all for coming. Got a big announcement.

Carter

You getting a haircut?

Randi

You really think she asked all of us here at 7:00 AM to tell us that she's getting a haircut?

Carter

That's what I would do.

Sheila

I know what it is. She's finally coming out. Everyone pay me.

Kat

Mother, I'm not gay.

Phil

She's definitely not gay. My gaydar never fails. Except with Anderson Cooper. How did I miss that?

Kat

Anyway, thank you all for being here. You're basically my family, even you, mother. So, here's my big news. I'm gonna have a baby!

Max

What?

Phil

How?

Carter

When?

Randi

Why?

Max

I'd like to circle back. What?

Kat

Uh, the correct response is "Yay, Kat! We're so happy for you!".

Carter

I'm really sorry about it earlier. I guess I put the ass in Christmas. I'm so stressed about money.

Randi

Why do you want a fancy beer tap anyway?

Randi

I'm glad we went to the wedding, but 17 hours on a plane was brutal.

Max

At least you weren't sitting next to a crying baby the whole time.

Carter

I couldn't help it. It was such a beautiful wedding. I just love. Love!

Kat

Alright, everyone. Wedding slideshow is done. Gather around.

Kat

But we're not just looking for a new baker. We're looking for a new member of the family.

Randi

Oh, not me, I got too much family. I need muffins.

Kat

See, Randi's the sassy younger sister and I'm the cool older sister where you're like "She's valedictorian and makes her own blue jeans? What?".

Kat

When I was in high school, I tried to start a clique for people who weren't in cliques. Got squeezed out. Stupid Ashley and her eye patch. I swear it changed sides.

Randi

Okay, well, thank you for coming in.

Carter

Are we worried that green is going to make us crave pizza?

Randi

What?

Sheila

Here we go again!

Carter

Green, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pizza? I can't believe I had to explain that.

Carter

Baby?

Randi

I can't do this.

Carter

What?

Randi

I want to get married like the couple before us.

Carter

In Spanish?

Randi

No, with all of our friends and family around. And I so appreciate you wanted to do this for me, but baby, you were right. I want the first dance, I want my dad to walk me down the aisle, I want Sheila to bag a groomsman young enough to make things weird.

Kat

Oh, she's gonna get that.

Randi

I want the whole thing. I want to stand up in front of all those people and tell them how much I love you.

Carter

Baby.

Kat

Aw. I love y'all.

Max

This means I get to use my license from FiveMinuteMinister.net.

Kat

The limericks are coming fast and furious. Someone got a pencil? I need a pencil. You got a pencil?