Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 3
Hey! You remember this? I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me, Dick?
[After Buffy lures Mayor Wilkins leads to a room full of explosives]
Well, gosh.
[Sunnydale High School is blown up]
The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.S, Rorschach, associative logic... [grunts] He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.
Ooh, I used to want... Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.
Neat.
Thanks. It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic. Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?
I'm gonna pass. Hit the pool and do some laps.
How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? [chuckles] Buff Buff.
Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I-I just... well, I-I wanna do...
[smiles knowingly] Better than Faith?
[slightly embarrassed] So very shallow.
Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, "I sometimes like to kill people."
I know Faith's not gonna be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me.
No way. Some people just don't have that in them.
Look, I'm sorry. I know how you hate talking about Faith.
No, it's okay.
No, really, we should just...
No, it doesn't bother me. I mean it.
Uh, Will?
Oh.
Emotional control?
I'm working on it.
Are you serious about this place?
Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.
Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick.
We'll keep your old place, in case you need to see your friends there, but from now on... Oh, hey, hey, hey. Shoes, shoes.
Thanks, Sugar Daddy.
Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry. I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's take a look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation.
No way.
Yes way. [chuckles]
Do you want to go out tonight?
Strangely, I feel like staying at home, and doing my homework, and flossing, and dying a virgin.
You know, you can O.D. on virtue.
Between me and my evil self, I have double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.
Hey. Uh, hi.
Oh, hi, listen, I didn't have a chance...
Okay, so I did the outline for the paper on Roosevelt. It turns out there were two President Roosevelts, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both. Um, and I know they're kinda... kinda short, but, um, I can flesh them out. Oh, and-and here's the bibliography. Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I'll get on it.
You want to go out tonight?
Nine sound good?
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