So, what's this big important news?
Yeah, Woody, what are we doing...[gunshots] uh!
Yes!
[Ethel gasped]
[bubbling; healing]
Oh, my God. She's completely healed.
And my rash is gone.
I wonder if it cures bitch.
[bubbling]
I think my hymen just grew back.
Don't worry. It'll be gone after happy hour.
Rangers, old Woody has discovered a miracle. As you can see, this lake cures any ailment, from the common cold to cancer.
You could have just told us.
Yeah, sure, but this way was more fun.
How were you sure it would work? Connie could have...[gunshots] uh!
I could get used to this.
There must be a scientific explanation.
Yeah, asshole, there is. I was chosen by God to heal the sick.
And another reason not to believe in God.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, and right now, he wants me to be rich. Sick people, lost souls, deep pockets, blah blah blah. Religion equals money! Now, we've got a lot of work to do.
Work? You were supposed to take me snowboarding today.
Sorry. No time, Cubbykins. Daddy is God's prophet now, and I do plan to profit.
Yeah. Another scam that'll blow up in your face. I want to shred the slopes like Shaun White. He gets lots of ass for an ugly woman.
Shred the slope? You've never even seen snow.
Wait. You've never seen snow?
Could somebody explain to the diversity hire that bears hibernate? That means sleep for a long time, Denzel, something you should be familiar with.
Take it easy on Denzel. He's had a rough day...[gunshots] uh!
What's wrong, Denzel?
Ever since I was a little boy, I had a dream. And then, I realized that dream. And now...[gunshots] Shit!
Sorry, I couldn't listen to any more of that.
God, this would be so much more satisfying if that lake wasn't there.
Connie, Steve, go round up every sick, gullible, emotionally needy, dumbass, lonely loser with a bank account. Denzel, Ethel, take Malloy up the mountain to snowboard. Stat!
So, that's it? You're gonna exploit this lake?
Exploit the lake and help the sick and disabled. Imagine what they'll do with a new lease on life.
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