Been thinking about this summer job I used to have.
Back in college, I'd spend my days... marking trees in the woods with those orange spray cans.
Yeah, crews would come in later and find the trees I tagged and cut 'em down. First you go in and you mark locations for your skid trails and landings. Then you choose specific trees all within a selected grid. Every day, I'd go back hiking, pick up where I'd left off.
Huh... Sounds nice, being out in the woods all day.
Ehhh, it wasn't so great. I'd get sunburned... there were mosquitoes. Just wanted to make a few bucks. Buy beer. I've been thinking about that job more and more lately. Maybe I should've enjoyed it more. Tagging trees is a lot better than chasing monsters.
[Inside a storage unit, Skyler uncovers a large, fairly neat pile of money]
This is it. This is what you've been working for. I rented this place and I started bringing it here, because... I didn't know what else to do. I gave up counting it. I mean, I had to. It was just so much, so fast. I... I tried weighing it. I figured one bill of any denomination weighs a gram. There are 454 grams to a pound, but... there's a variety of denominations. So...
I have no earthly idea. I truly don't. I just stack it up, keep it dry, spray it for silverfish. There is more money here than we could spend in ten lifetimes. I certainly can't launder it, not with a hundred car washes. Walt... I want my kids back. I want my life back. Please tell me... how much is enough? How big does this pile have to be?
Dude, you are tripping! I'm not dead! I'm on the Starship Enterprise macking on Yeoman Rand while the Andorian with the disrupter's back on Talos IV or whatever.
What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? Transporters are breaking you apart right down to your molecules and bones. They're makin' a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side? He's not you. He's a color Xerox.
So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks?
At least! Dude, yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere?! 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch! Look it up, it's science!
Ever tell you about my Star Trek script?
Yeah! I gotta write it down is all. The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel XII. Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest. The whole crew's in the galley. They're eating tulaberry pies–
Tulaberries. From Gamma Quadrant, yo.
Okay, blueberries, then! They're eating blueberry pies...
...as fast as the replicator can churn 'em out. [imitates replicator noise] Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Finally, it's down to just three: Kirk, Spock, and Chekov. Okay, Spock always wins these things.
How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush! Look at Kirk! He's got room to spare!
Spock has total Vulcan control over his digestion! You wanna hear this or not?
Okay, finally–Kirk, he can't take it anymore. He yorks. Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock. But Chekov, y'see, he's got a whole fat stack of quatloos riding on this. And he has figured out a way to win. He's got Scotty back in the transporter room locked in on Chekov's stomach. Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
Where is he sending them, the toilet?
There's blueberries just floating out there frozen–because it's in space–and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and–and Spock is like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me!" Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers when Lieutenant Uhura comes in and she's got, y'know, her big pointies, and Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.
Chekov screams, he sprays blood out of his mouth...
...Scotty beamed his guts into space!
So, uh, how is the maestro? Things have been quiet on this end.
Just as well. Probably. That whole thing in the jails, y'know... When they start to whack the lawyers, that's when I draw the line.
[pointing to bags of money] This... goes to Kaylee Ehrmantraut and that goes to Mr. and Mrs. Albert Sharp. 315 East Pueblo. It's up in White Horse. It's two and a half million each, total of five.
...Uh, Mr. and Mrs. ah, who?
Drew Sharp. That's the kid on TV, the missing...? Why would you–Scratch that. Heh, I don't know and I don't wanna know. Uh, the thing is, what those folks want is to know what happened to their boy. A sack full of cash on their doorstep, that's just gonna raise more questions. Kaylee Ehrmantraut, that's Mike's granddaughter? So this is Mike's money?
It's your money? Okay, and you're giving it to Kaylee Ehrmantraut?
So you and Mike, uh... you've been in touch? [Jesse shakes his head] So we're just talking about charity? Yeah? Okay, look, you know, um, shelling out money to the ex and her little boy, I kind of get it–I mean, kind of–but this, this is a bridge too far. I'm sorry to say, kid, but you're still gonna be two miracles short of sainthood. Heh.
[Jesse looks despondent]
Brass tacks, okay? My job is to advise and my advice is: Come on, already. Mike left one step ahead of the boys in blue. You better believe his family's on the radar. A couple million bucks shows up, they're gonna snatch it tout suite! The feds have already taken Kaylee's money twice! What, are you going for a hat trick?!
I'll freaking do it myself, Saul.
No, no, no, no! I was just–I was thinking out loud!
Enough bullshit, Saul! Are you going to do this or not?
Yes, yes, absolutely! I live to serve!
[Jesse starts leaving Saul's office]
Hey, kid, you might wanna think about cleaning up a little, getting some rest. You've looked better.
Deja vu, huh? Jesus... alright, look. [tosses money bags on table] You wanna talk me through this? What you were thinking? What you asked Saul to do? I mean, come on... it's just nonsensical. Do you- do you have any explanation at all?
It's like you said. It–it's blood money.
I sa–? Jesus. Okay, yes, alright, I said that. I did... but it was in the heat of the moment. I was trying to win an argument, alright? And I was wrong. This is your money! Come on, you've earned it!
[Jesse stares off into the distance. Walter sits on the couch]
Drew Sharp. That is a terrible memory, no doubt about it... but son, you need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past. Nothing can change what we've done. But now, that's over. You're out, and so am I. [Jesse gives him an incredulous look] That's right. I'm done. I've been out for about a month, but there is nothing left for us to do except to try to live... ordinary, decent lives. [takes off his glasses] Why Kaylee Ehrmantraut?
She needs someone looking after her.
Mike is perfectly capable of looking after his own granddaughter.
...I don't think so. I don't think he is capable. I don't think he's coming back.
You doing what you did? Offing Mike's guys? If he was out there, you'd have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life, and that's not how you do things. So, I think he's dead, and... I think you know that.
I don't know that. I don't. Listen to me: I did not kill Mike. The last time I saw him, he had his bag–the one that I brought him–and he got into his car, and he drove away and for all I know, he's alive and well. And if... if he does come back, and he doesn't understand why I had to do what I did... well then, that's on me. Jesse. I need you to believe this. It's not true. It's just not.
...So he's out there? He's okay?
Yes. Mike is fine, wherever he is. We both know that he can take care of himself, and he's certainly capable to provide for his own family. Okay? Jesse. I need you to believe me.
[beat] Yeah. Like you said. He's alive.
Yeah. Mike's alive. Absolutely.
[Jesse looks away contemptuously]
Well, it’s good to see you up and about.
Well, you know. I’ve been better, but... I don’t know.
Have you... Did you get to see a doctor? I mean, when one of these things last more than three days, you really should get that checked.
Yeah, no, I... I did and I’m fine. I’m, uh... I’m what they say on the upswing, you know?
Um... Good, good to hear.
When I heard you weren’t going in to work, I... Well, looks like you have the work coming to you. Perks of being the boss, huh?
Yeah, you know. How’s, uh... How’s things at the car wash?
Good. Yeah, really good. Hey, did you have any of that potato salad?
I don’t know. Maybe. Yeah, I mean...
No one else got sick, so you probably shouldn’t worry about it. Well, Skyler will be very happy to hear that you’re felling better. Which reminds me, I better get back to it. If there’s anything I can do... [Hank nods] Feel better.
[Walter pats Hank’s back. Then Walter slowly walks out of the garage, stops and turns around.]
You know. You're going to laugh, but I have to ask you... about this.
[Walter holds up the GPS tracker to Hank's face.]
Believe it or not, I found this on my car. I mean, it looks just like the GPS tracker that we used on Gus Fring, doesn't it? Back when we were tracking him, just the two of us. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Hank?
[Hank closes the garage door]
You okay? I gotta say, I don't like the way you're looking at me right now.
[After a beat, Hank punches Walt in the face and knocks him over a pile of boxes. He slams Walt against the garage door.]
It was you. All along, it was you! You son of a bitch. You drove me into traffic to keep me from that laundry.
That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital? That wasn't Pinkman. You had my cell number. You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.
You bombed a nursing home. Heisenberg. Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit!
Hank, look... I don't–I don't know where this is coming from Hank, but—
I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.
Let's take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself. These wild accusations, they could destroy our family! And for what?
Don't you give me shit about family!
[beat] Hank, my cancer is back.
Good. Rot, you son of a bitch.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I wanna beat this thing. I do. I’m back on chemo, and I am fighting like hell. But the truth is in six months you won’t have someone to prosecute. But even–even if somehow you were able to convince anyone I was capable of doing these things, you and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell. I’m a dying man who runs a car wash. My right hand to God, that is all that I am. What’s the point?
Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we’ll talk.
That is not going to happen.
I don't know who you are. I don't even know who I'm talking to.
If that's true–if you don't know who I am–then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.
[Hank meets with Skyler and tries to convince her to turn against Walt]
Skyler, my–my head is spinning. And yours... I–I can't even imagine. So much makes sense to me now. You jumping in the pool. You sending us your kids, I get it. I just wished I'd seen it sooner. He's a monster. He's—Look, I don't know what he did to you to force you to keep his secrets. If he threatened you, or whatever mind games he played. I don't know if there was abuse. But I want you to know that you can be open with me. Don't hold anything back, okay? I mean, I don't even understand if you know the full extent of this, what he's done. Not just the meth cooking, but the lives he's destroyed. But look, that's all behind you. Starting now, you're done being his victim. Because here's what we're gonna do. Sky, here's what we're gonna do: You and the kids are gonna move back to our house where you'll be safe, where he can't get to you.
No, no, we'll get to that soon enough. It's just you and me right now, okay?
Before we, um, before we get you back to the house, I...
[Hank takes out a recording device and turns it on]
I'm gonna ask you to tell me everything you can. Um, take as long as you like. Just, um, start from the beginning when you first became aware of Walt's activities, and just– just try to be as detailed as you can.
Um, what? Right–Right here? Right now?
Sure, why not? While it's still fresh, you know? And just, um, just, um, remember to, um, just state your name and the date before you start.
Hank, do... do we have to–have to do this right now?
No, we—we don't have to do this right now. No. [turns off the recording device] But just here's the thing. You see, I need something solid that I can bring to my people. A statement on the record. So you testifying to Walt's criminal activities–whatever you know–can go a long, long way here. Okay, I mean, you see, building a case this big, gathering all this evidence, enough to get a conviction–we're talking a long-haul proposition here. And I don't want that bastard running out the clock. But with your testimony—
Wait, what do you mean "running out the clock?"
His cancer. His cancer's back. So he said. He didn't tell you? Who's to say it's even true? Lying piece of shit. Look, regardless, I mean, we'll just assume. Fine. Okay? You know what? That son of a bitch looks me in the eye and he says if what I know is true, if... he'll be dead before I can prove it. The balls on that son of a–I got all these little pieces. They're all part of the story, right? But they don't mean much on their own. But when you start telling me what you know, when you start filling the gaps, I'll have him in lockup before the sun goes down.
Hank, I... I... I think maybe... maybe I need a lawyer.
What? No, no, no, no, you don't.
Skyler, understand, I am here to help you. But to do that, I need your help. We start bringing in lawyers and they start putting up roadblocks where they don't need to be, and my ability to control the situation diminishes.
Just for my own protection. It just, you know, it seems to make sense that I should have someone to talk to.
Skyler, I am your–your biggest advocate here, and I'm telling you, for your own good, you need to get out ahead of this thing. I mean, you start–you know–getting defensive, I–I'm not saying it's right, but I'll tell you it's a fact. The D.A. will look at you differently.
Skyler, yes, I–I do. I've been around long enough to know. It's in your best interest to get out there and show the world you have nothing to hide. Look, no one in the world is more important to me than your sister. So believe me when I tell you that your best interest and mine are the same.
But Hank, you telling me not to talk to a lawyer doesn't sound like that at all. It sounds like what you want... What you want is to get Walter at all costs.
Okay. Okay. Let's just slow down. Slow down. You can. You can talk to a lawyer later. But right now, what we need to do, we need to go get the kids, we need to bring them to my house where they are safe. And then we need to help each other put this animal away, okay? [gets up from the table] Come on.
No, come on. Let's go to the house and we'll deal with it there. Come on.
[Hank sits back down.]
Skyler. I–I—You're not thinking straight about this. You have to listen to me. I–Skyler...
[Skyler gets up from the table. Hank also gets up and grabs her arm.]
Am I under arrest?! HANK, ARE YOU ARRESTING ME?
[Skyler violently shakes off Hank's grab and leaves the restaurant.]
[Walter is at Saul Goodman's office when his cell phone rings]
You don't have to do–You answer that phone and Schrader's on the other end of the line with a legal wire tap recording everything you say, you're not doing anybody any favors, except for him. In fact, why do you still have a battery in that thing? Take it out. They might be trying to triangulate your movements. I'm not being paranoid. Do it.
[takes battery out of phone] Can't believe she went to him.
She went right to him without even talking to me. Without a moment's hesitation.
I'm not saying it's not bad. It's bad. But it could be worse.
Really, how much worse could it be? Exactly, in your estimation?
What does she actually know? What has she seen, hmm? Nothing. It's hearsay. It's all he said, she said. I mean, the only real evidence that she can lead them to is the money, and once we take care of that, well... then they got nothing.
Nothing? Hank knows, that's not nothing.
Yeah. I can't exactly see him turning the other cheek. [pause] Of course, there's always, um...
Have you given any thought to, um, sending him to a trip to Belize?
Yeah, Belize. You know, where, um, where Mike went to. Off on a trip to, uh, Belize.
Saul, you better not be saying what I think you're saying.
It's just conjecture on my part.
Okay, it's an option that my—
It's an option that has worked very well for you in the recent past.
Jesus, what is wrong with you?!
My mistake! Family. Off limits. Of course. I'm just throwing thoughts out there. This is a safe room, right?
Jesus, "send him to Belize." I'll send you to Belize.
It's true. The cancer's back. Is this it?
Does that make you happy?
I can't remember the last time I was happy.
Just tell me. I know you talked with Hank. I know you made a deal. Skyler, I'll make this easy. I'll give myself up if you promise me one thing: You keep the money. Never speak of it, never give it up. You pass it on to our children, give them everything. Will you do that? Please? Please, don't let me have done all this for nothing.
The way Hank talks, he's got his suspicions. Not much else. You can't give yourself up without giving up the money. That's the way this works, Walt. So maybe our best move here is to stay quiet.
Mr. Pinkman. How are you today? Not so good, huh? 'Course, uh, I might be able to help you out. I wanna talk to you about your partner, Heisenberg. See, I know he's my brother-in-law, Walt.
[Jesse looks at Hank, slightly surprised]
Oh, yeah. That's the look. Lucky for you, I'm more interested in him. So I got an offer. If you help me out here, tell me all about you and him and your little meth business, maybe I talk to my friends at the APD and make all this go away. I know he's the mastermind here. Plus... I'm thinking based on your recent activities that, uh... maybe there's a little trouble in paradise? Maybe you guys aren't, uh, getting along so good? I'm right, aren't I?
Sure that's how you want to play this?
Why don't you try and beat it out of me? That's your thing, right?
He really did a number on you, didn't he? I don't know, but... happy people usually don't go around... throwing millions of dollars away. I don't think, uh, Walt's gonna be patting you on the back for that. But maybe that's the point. 'Cause, you see, I get that. My own brother-in-law, lying to me for over a year, using me. Maybe you understand that feeling. Help me out here, Jesse... and we can put him away. I know you want that. I think you wanna talk.
[Saul enters the interrogation room, followed by two detectives.]
Agent Schrader, beat any good suspects lately? [to the two detectives] Hey, tall and taller, ask him his history with my client. He knocked the poor kid unconscious last time they were alone together. So what'll it be, gentlemen, a civil rights lawsuit the size of Montana? 'Cause I'll oblige you. [Hank starts to leave] Oh, so long, Rocky. Keep your left up. Detectives, I'm inviting you to leave.
[Hank and Marie watch Walter's "confession" tape at home]
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead–murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time–something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [points to the bruise on his face left by Hank] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
[After watching the "confession" tape]
Who do you think he's shown this to?
No one. It's a threat. It's what he will do if I don't back off.
I think you should show this to Ramey. Just get ahead of it. That video is a bunch of lies, Hank. Anybody who knows you will know—
$177,000? Hell's he talking about? Marie?
They told me it was gambling money.
What was gambling money? Oh, Jesus Christ, Marie. Oh, God, no.
How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know where it really came from?
Why were they paying for my medical bills? What about my insurance?
Insurance wouldn't have covered the treatment that you needed, and I... I just wanted the best for you—
Because I knew that you would refuse it, and without it, you may never have been able to walk again.
Oh, Christ, Marie. You killed me here. I mean, it's the–that's the last nail. That's the last nail in the coffin.
