When a beautiful woman says, 'get me off', you 'get her off', Shirley, it's as simple as that.
S2 E2Schadenfreude
[to Kelly] I'll visit you in jail. Conjugal.
I'm sorry, your honor. I have mad cow disease. I think you do, too.
Schadenfreude. From the German words, Schaden and Freude, damage and joy. It means to take spiteful, malicious delight in the misfortune of others. We used to dismiss this as simply an ugly side of human nature, but it is much, much more than that. Recently a Stanford professor actually captured Schadenfreude on a brain scan. It's a physiological medical phenomenon. When we see others fall it sometimes causes a chemical to be released in the dorsal striatum of the brain which actually causes us to feel pleasure. If you watch the news or read the papers, which of course you don't because the Judge said not to, but if you did, you would see the undeniable delicious joy of the media and the public over Kelly Nolan's plight. I have no doubt that you want Kelly Nolan to be punished. She married for money, she had an affair, she carried on naked in the pool with her boyfriend. She's cold, materialistic, unlikable, and it might bring you all pleasure to see her go to jail. But as for evidence to establish that she committed a murder beyond all reasonable doubt? It just isn't there. The only possible route to a guilty verdict here is Schadenfreude.
[Denny and Alan are out on the balcony mid episode]
Is the show over already?
S2 E3Finding Nimmo
This isn't meaningful; practicing law and drinking scotch at 9 o'clock in the morning. Well, ok, maybe the scotch is meaningful.
I make over a million dollars a year, and I'm in a basement looking for a dead midget.
You're one of those environmental lawyers?
Is there something wrong with that?
They're evildoers. Yesterday it's a tree, today it's a salmon, tomorrow it's, "Let's not dig up Alaska for oil because it's too pretty." Let me tell you something - I came out here to enjoy nature. Don't talk to me about the environment.
All reality, none of it scripted.
Can I fish yet?
You still have a timeout. You just sit there.
God likes to fish?
We need to go to the woods and touch ourselves...get in touch with ourselves.
I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the Axis.
Excuse me. Are you Denny Crane?
Yes I am, and I am not your father.
Mrs. Piper, you wish to address the court?
Just...is it possible to request the Robert Blake jury?
Mindful that abroad, people expect shock and awe when Yankees arrive on the scene, we shall leave you with two small but lasting words...
Denny Crane, eh.
They call them cling-ons.
Did you says Klingons?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Boston Legal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


