Tess quotes from Blue Heelers

Tess

I think we might have a few idiots drag racing.

Jonesy

Oh, yeah. Done a bit of that too.

Tess

What?!

Jonesy

When I was young and stupid.

Tess

Jo, you better do something about this statement of yours.

Jo

No way! That is exactly what happened.

Tess

No, I meant fix the typos. Price is spelt with an 'E' on the end, not a 'k'.

Jo

Yes, well, once you know him it's the only way you can spell it.

Tom

I don't know about you people, but I've got a home to go to and a dog to feed.

Jonesy

Is it that time already...

Tess

Oh, Constable.

Jonesy

You wouldn't want me to do it on over time, would you?

Tess

Just as long as you do it.

Jonesy

Is that an order?

Tess

If it has to be.

Jonesy

In that case, I obey.

Tess

Didn't your mother ever tell you curiosity killed the cat?

Jonesy

We never had a cat.

Tess

Hi.

Jonesy

Merry Christmas.

Tess

Yeah, you too.

Jonesy

I didn't know what to bring, so...

Tess

Anything's fine.

Jonesy

So...I didn't bring anything.

Tess

Oh! That's fine too.

Tess

What are you looking for?

Jonesy

Mistletoe.

Tess

Get out!

Jonesy

Merry Christmas!

Tess

I'm sorry about Meg.

Jonesy

I'm not...she blamed you.

Tess

Me?! Why?

Jonesy

She reckons you were jealous.

Tess

Of what?!

Jonesy

Of me and her.

Tess

Well, that comes from living in a fantasy world for too long.

Jonesy

She reckons you fancy me, Sergeant.

Tess

Do you want to have a look?

Jonesy

Thought you'd never ask.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

Jonesy

What?

That you were the father.

Jonesy

No, we're just good friends.

Do you want to know the sex of the baby?

Jonesy

Yes.

Tess

No.

Jonesy

Nah...

Tess

Print him out a copy if he wants. He can frame it.

Jonesy

I guess it's a shame we're not more like seahorses.

Tess

Seahorses?!

Jonesy

Yeah. It's the male that gets pregnant.

Tess

Probably the only male anything that knows what it's like to be dismissed as an eratic, hormonal half-wit every time it opens it's mouth.