Mr Haskem, you really should listen to Darrin. He has his finger on the pulse of today.
And his foot on the unemployment line of tomorrow.
S5 E6Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
S5 E7Samantha's French Pastry
[Joking about Samantha's unrisen Angel Food Cake]
AUncle Arthur
When you cast your spell, you probably faced west when you should of faced 'yeast'.
I don't believe it. In our living room, in person, sits Napoleon Bonaparte.
Yeah. You're the only living human being who can say he's had Napoleon Bonaparte as a guest in his house. It's ironic.
Ironic?
Yes. Who can you say it to?
S5 E8Is It Magic Or Imagination?
[Darrin is trying to apologize to Samantha, for accusing her of using witchcraft to win a slogan competition].
The point is, your slogan was rejected, it was lousy. Which proves it was your imagination!
S5 E9Samantha Fights City Hall
[Laughs] Darrin, you old son of a gun, we've done it again. This Ezyway rent-a-car presentation is a masterpiece.
Just don't hog all the credit this time, huh, Larry. Let's make it 50-50 right down the line.
Done. I'll even go you one better, Darrin. If HB doesn't like it, it's all yours.
S5 E10Samantha Loses Her Voice
[Larry explaining why he didn't pick his wife for his volleyball team].
Have you ever seen Louise play volleyball? Her best shot is ducking.
S5 E11I Don't Want to Be a Toad, I Want to Be a Butterfly
[After Tabitha has changed her classmate into a butterfly].
Is this one of those things that's called a problem?
Not exactly, sweetheart. This is one of those things that's called a catastrophe.
S5 E12Weep No More My Willow
KMrs Kravitz
Abner! Darrin Stephens is talking to a strange woman.
KMr Kravitz
So what? I'm listening to one.
S6 E2Samantha's Yoo-Hoo Maid
What are you going out there for?
I present the name & symbol for Hampton's new economy car. The unicorn.
S6 E12Samantha's Double Mother Trouble
[In the backyard, Esmerelda sneezes, which pops Mother Goose out of Tabitha's storybook]
Mommy, Mommy!
[from Tabitha's bedroom window] What is it, sweetheart?
Look who's here!
[shocked] Oh, my goose! It's Mother Stars!
S8 E9A Plague on Maurice and Samantha
Endora, you have all the charm of a tse-tse fly.
[Maurice dismisses his driver (named Yorick), who coughs before disappearing.]
Alas, poor Yorick. He isn't well.
DSDarrin's client
And Mrs Stephens. You should be very proud of your father. I think he's dynamite.
Ooh, I do too. And, uh, I never know when he might explode.
S8 E10Hansel And Gretel In Samanthaland
Darren, why are you carrying that leg of lamb?
Well, in the condition it's in, it couldn't very well walk by itself.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bewitched pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.