Being Human quotes

Annie

So, how do you all know each other?

We live together.

Annie

You what?

I know it's a bit unusual.

Annie

No, it's not that. It's just that, um...Well I...

Three supernaturals all under the same roof.

Annie

Yes, exactly, and I...

I mean, a werewolf and a vampire becoming friends. It's unheard of, I suppose.

Annie

Well no, actually. Not that unheard of, because I...

I think it's largely my influence.

Annie

Interestingly enough, I...

Some might say I've done achieved the impossible.

Annie

[Shouts] I did it! [Quieter] I'm sorry. Um, I did it. I did it too. It's not anything to shout about really, is it? But I did do it.

Hal

What, there's a vampire here?

Annie

Er... No, not exactly. Things have changed a lot for us recently, so...

Oh, that's a pity. Over 55 years and I've never had to change my line-up.

Annie

Good.

Annie

All powerful and merciful Eve, we have come here today to ask you to assist our dear friend, Leo. We humbly beseech thee to restore him to health, drive away all illness and infirmary, strengthen him, raise him up so that he may... [Searches for missing paper] Ahem... Raise him up so that he may...stand on mountains. Raise him up so that he may walk on stormy seas. Let the road rise to meet him. Let the force be with him. Carpe diem. Veni, vidi, vici. Et tu, Brute. Dolce et Gabbana est. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen!

Annie

Oh my God!!

Oh. Is this the lady in the longjohns attacking my dress sense?

Annie

I'm not attacking... Sorry, beg your pardon?

The carpets need a good clean.

Annie

These are not longjohns, they're leggings.

And a bar in the living room? What message does that send out?

Annie

And actually, I died in 2007 and I do still see people in them today, so...You know, actually, I was quite fashion forward with these...leggings.

We'll need to start using a new brand of tea. That stuff you make always looks very anaemic.

Annie

[Holding back anger] There is nothing wrong with my tea.

Hal

God. Annie, yours is even better than mine.

Annie

My what?

Hal

Your mask.

Hal

Kill me. Seriously, kill me now. You can tell Annie I attacked you, or something.

Tom

Maybe later, if you work really hard.

Annie

What happened to your face?

Regus

My lunch fought back. I'd rather not talk about it. But who takes a crowbar with them when they walk the dog? I mean who does? That's just weird!

Regus

I think you need to feed me.

Annie

You do know I'm dead, huh? So, you can try biting me, but all you're gonna get is an ice-cream headache.

Regus

You've got to go and hide somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Go to Bangor.

Urgh, no offence, but, like, I'm into guys that are just a little bit more edgy. You know, a little bit more darkness about them. [Hal and Tom both laugh] Are you laughing at me? You'd better not be laughing at me!

Tom

No, we weren't, honestly.

Hal

Sorry, it's just, um, a private joke, you see. We're actually both quite dark in our own little ways.

Tom

Yeah, but he's darker than me, I'm only dark occasionally.

Annie

[Frustrated with Tom and Hal ignoring her] Annie! How was your day? Oh, thank you. Thank you for asking, because it was a bit weird. I got stalked by a vampire in the park and then I pushed my sex memories into another vampire's sad little vampire brain. Ooh, that is weird Annie. Yes, I know. Thank you for asking.

Tom

Is there something you'd like to tell us, Annie?

Hal

I cannot sleep in a barn, or a tent or a caravan or anywhere without central heating, carpets and Radio 4, and that should be on my list.

Hal

Look, I'm not sure what you were used to when George and, er Tina were around, but...

Annie

Their names...were Nina...George...and Mitchell. And this was their home. And they were my friends. And they would have listened to me.

Hal

I used to ride a horse once.

What? What's that got to do with it?

Hal

[Babbling] I had a sword. I was respected. Better than that, I was feared. Peasants had their backs flayed for looking at me funny.

Tom

You alright Hal?

Hal

It was brutal, but it worked. We had order, we had respect, and now, we have this.

Tom

OK, then, mate. Let's go in the back and have a bit of a chat, shall we? Come on.

Hal

And I had a shield. A red one!

Tom

What we watching?

Hal

I don't know. Something about conmen.

Tom

Anything else on?

Hal

Please, don't do that, little baby. Help! Anyone!

Tom

Annie's made a rota.

Hal

I already have a rota.

Tom

7am, I feed the baby. 8am, You walk the baby. There's a task for every hour and it's colour coded.

Hal

Little pictures of nappies and bottles. And Glitter.

Hal

She's planned every moment of every minute of every day of our lives.

Tom

We must destroy this.