Mitchell quotes from Being Human

Annie

Shit, can you see me?

George

Of course! Who are you?

Annie

You can see me? [She waves her arms] Can you see me do that?

George

What's she talking about?

Annie

Oh my God you can hear me too. I don't believe this!

George

You don't believe it? Mitchell, call the police.

Mitchell

George, it's okay.

George

It is most certainly not okay, we paid a deposit!

Mitchell

George, shut up! She's a ghost.

Annie

[Slightly offended] Your point being?

Annie

Hiya.

Mitchell

Have you been sitting there long?

Annie

Define long.

Mitchell

An hour?

Annie

Then yeah.

Mitchell

So, you've just arrived at Hogwarts, which house do they put you in?

George

I'd like to say Gryffindor, but they're supposed to be brave. What's the other one? Ravenclaw, does that have a characteristic?

Mitchell

I think they're brainy. You could be in Ravenclaw.

Annie

I quite fancy Hufflepuff actually. I've always thought in Hufflepuff they just spend the day making stuff with safety scissors and glitter.

George

What about you?

Mitchell

I think that they'd say, 'it's probably best if you just stay in the canteen for the next five years'.

Annie

Does anyone ever choose Slytherin?

George

No, because that would be like saying 'I'm a sociopath.'

Annie

Ah well, you shouldn't be eating bacon anyway, should you - you're Jewish.

George

Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.

Annie

Do they have rules about being a werewolf as well?

George

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a religion that doesn't frown on it.

Mitchell

What about the Moonies?