“M”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (83), Smart Butt-head (78), Butthead (3)
I like to see a little more fat.
Yeah, I'd like to see a little more fat too! That's the best part. It's like, whenever I'm eating some meat, I'd just eat all the fat and leave the rest.
Yeah. I like to make a fat sandwich sometimes.
Yeah! A little mayonnaise, a little salt...it rules!
[a woman in the video is spinning around]
Cool. Look what she's doing.
I do that sometimes, too. It helps me fall asleep.
You mean 'cause it like, tires you out or something?
No. Not really, no. It's like, I just spin around until I get really dizzy, then I like, fall down and bang my head on something, and then I just go to sleep. Works every time.
You're pretty cool sometimes, Beavis.
Morrissey, November Spawned a Monster
[Beavis sees Morrissey dressed in an unbuttoned fishnet shirt and then spits his soda all over Butt-head]
Watch it, Beavis! I know this sucks, but that doesn't mean you have to spit all over me.
You're lucky I didn't barf all over you.
He's trying to hump a rock.
Yeah, that would be cool if he like, pulled it down, and it crushed him. Yeah, yeah!
Whoa! Did you see that? He had a band-aid on one of his boobs.
Really? Why?
Maybe he's like, trying to shave the hair off of his chest, and--
OW! Don't say stuff like that, Butt-head.
Why not, Beavis? It's like he shaved his nipple off.
OW! OW! Stop it!
This is really beginning to piss me off, Beavis.
Yeah, really!
Get off the ground and stop whining, you wuss!
Get up! Get up, stand up straight, and quit acting like a wuss! Quit whining, go out and get a job and some good clothes!
You tell him, Beavis!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! And another thing, stay away from those rocks!
The Murmurs, You Suck
Is this a diaper commercial?
Uh...no, this is a douche commercial.
Oh yeah. That's funny, douche. [Cackles] What is a douche, anyway? Like, how does it work?
Uh...I don't know. I think chicks get it when they have that like, not so fresh feeling.
Oh yeah. I think it helps them go horseback riding, and like, go down to the beach and stuff like that.
Yeah. I wonder how come they don't have a douche for guys.
Yeah. That would rule. Sometimes you know, I feel like, not so fresh...you know.
Well, maybe if you'd wash your butt once in a while...and I'm not talking about washing your whole butt, I'm talking about washing your butthole.
And for that, you suck...
Um...they just said you suck.
No they didn't, they said you suck. They ripped off my idea for a song.
Yeah, and you already ripped off the idea from me, bunghole.
Beavis, do you remember what I told you about trying to be funny?
...that I shouldn't?
That's right, now sit there and shut up, nutsack.
Wait wait wait, I think I can see something. I THINK I CAN SEE THE SIDE OF HER BOOB!
I think that's just a koala bear.
Oh yeah. Sorry. You know something? I wish these girls were naked, and um, I wish they were right here without any clothes on, and I wish I was grabbing their butt, and that's about it.
Uh...okay then.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
