[A Mars symbol shows up onscreen
Hey Beavis, you see that arrow? Did you know that that symbolizes the wiener?
Um... what wiener? Where?
It stands for wieners everywhere.
Um... yeah. Good.
“L”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (28), Smart Beavis (28)
LLaTour
But people are still having sex, and nothing seems to stop them.
Uh... people are still having sex?
Yeah, what people? Where?! I want names!
Settle down, Beavis!
Well, he said people are still having sex, and it's like, I'm not having sex!
So? If you kept your mouth shut, maybe he'd tell you!
Well, okay.
LLaTour
Do you understand me?
Yeah, I understand you, but where?!
LLaTour
Lust keeps on lurking...
Dammit, come on! Who? Where?
Beavis, just listen this time! Shut up!
LLaTour
This AIDS thing's not working...
Um...
LLaTour
People are still having sex!
Yeah, okay...
LLaTour
People are still having sex!
Dammit, there he goes again!
Beavis, shut up!
[The top of a Mars symbol penetrates a round shape]
Whoa! That thing's getting it on with a doughnut!
Yeah! uh...a doughnut sounds pretty good right now. I think I'm gonna go get a doughnut. You want anything? [Gets up and leaves]
Yea, bring me back a couple!
Annie Lennox, No More "I Love You"s
[A ballet dancer's legs are shown as the video starts]
Uh...get ready for a surprise! You think it's a girl, [camera scrolls up to dancer's face] but it's a guy!
Oh yeah! You think it's gonna be a girl, but it's a guy, see! So it's like, confusing...it's like strange, you know.
[laughs] Yeah.
[Annie Lennox appears with her eyes largely widened]
AAH! What's her problem?!
This is stupid.
Um...this kind of sounds like that um...[sings]"From a Distance".
Oh yeah.
Who did that song?
Uh...that's Butt Midler.
That looks like that...that mouse chick...that Minnie, Minnie Mouse, you know?
Oh yeah. It's like, have you ever heard that joke? Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?
Um...uh...I don't know.
Check it out, this is funny. Because she was doing Goofy! [laughs]
Check this out, Butt-head. I got a joke. This is really good. Knock knock!
Uh...who's there?
Eura.
Eura who?
You're a buttmunch! Dillhole! Dumbass! And a turd!
Shut up, Beavis!
I just made that up! I made that one up myself!
Okay, I have one. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Uh...eura.
Eura who?
You're ain...urine.
Letters to Cleo, Here and Now
[the lead singer's head is the focus of one shot]
I wonder what the rest of her body looks like? [the camera pans down to her legs] Oh yeah. Thank you very much.
Thank you, may I have another?
Uhh, what TV show is this chick on?
Let's see, um, Family Ties, Full House, My Two Dads, Growing Pains, One Day At a Time...
Uh, no.
Melrose Place, Northern Exposure, What's Happening!!, Good Times, Jeffersons...
Shut up, Beavis! Uh, she looks like that uh, that chick that used to be young and had big hooters.
Oh yeah.
And she was like, married to that dude and living with her parents, and now she does those commercials for like, hungry foreign kids.
Oh yeah! And she was also in that commercial for the career institute, where she's going like, [high-pitched voice] "You can get a wonderful new career and an associate's degree in business management, x-ray tech, court reporter, computer technicians, high school!"
Yeah. [both laugh]
I was thinking of signing up for that career institute, and like, then I could be like, X-Ray technician, and I could look through chicks' clothes and stuff. That'd be cool.
Yeah. That'd be a good job.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[jabbers nonsensically] What? What did you say?
What? I didn't say anything!
Oh. I thought you said something, like, just now, right before I went [jabbers nonsensically], didn't you say something?
Uh, no.
Really? I could've sworn I heard you say something, like you said, [imitates Butt-head] "Uhuhuh, yeah, this is cool", or something like that.
Uh, no, Beavis, I didn't say anything. You oughta try not saying anything.
Okay. I'll give that a try right now.
Jerry Lee Lewis, Goosebumps
Whoa, I think this is my grampa!
No this is that dude that was in that movie...he married his cousin, and then they did it.
Oh yeah. I think that movie was called "Great Balls of FFFFIRE!!"
Did you know when you get it on with your cousin, it means she's your cousin, uh, like, once removed?
Whoa, really? Y'know my grampa told me once, that like, because he did it with his cousin, that means that my, grandma.....is my....cousin, and my mom is my great aunt.
Uh, yeah and she's also a great slut.
Oh yeah and um, and also, I think my grandma is a nitwit.
It's like, I didn't know you could like, rock on the piano.
Yeah, it's like all you need to do is like, y'know, kick the piano and do it with your cousin and, you'll be cool forever.
Yeah, yeah. Or maybe you could like do it with the piano and kick your cousin! Yeah!
Beavis.
Oh, sorry about that.
Life of Agony, This Time
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.