Uh...uh-oh. This is horrible.
I kinda feel sorry for these guys, you know, because um, I think it's probably not their fault that they suck so much.
Uh...yeah it is.
“K”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (20), Smart Beavis (20)
Uh...wow. This might be the worst crap I've ever seen in my life.
Um...this dude kinda looks like that dude from Sesame Street...The Count.
Yeah. It's like [imitating The Count] A-one! A-two! A-three! A-four buttknockers! Ahahahaha!
[also imitating The Count] Ahahahahahahaha!
Oh boy. This is really sad. It's probably like, you know, he has kids and stuff, and he's like "Okay kids, I gotta put on my make-up and go do another show."
Yeah, you know? It's too bad, really.
King Missile, Martin Scorsese
JSJohn S. Hall
This one's called "Martin Scorsese".
Uhhhhhhh, "Martin Scores Easy"?
Yeah, yeah! It's hard for me to score.
Hey this is that dude who lost his penis!
Yeah! He did that song about how he had a "touchable penis"!
This must be what happens when you lose your penis!
Yeah! I always try to keep my johnson in my pants so I won't lose it!
You're pretty stupid, Beavis!
Kix, Cool Kids
Holy crap!
Whoa! What the hell is this crap?
Oh my God!
Is this, like, a joke?
Yeah, yeah!
I think it's safe to say that this sucks.
I thought people usually look cool in leather jackets?
Yeah! What's wrong? How come these people all look like wussies?
Sometimes, it just doesn't work, Beavis.
Maybe these are, like, vinyl jackets.
No, they're leather. You can't polish a turd, Beavis.
Yeah! I tried that once, I got, like, some dog doo-doo, and like, some, uh, black shoe polish, and then I, like, tried to polish it, but it's like, it's like, you can't polish a turd!
That's disgusting, Beavis! I bet it was pretty cool to try, though.
That cop should hit him.
Yeah!
KKix
COOL! KIDS!
"Krokus"?
No, he's saying "cool kids".
These are supposed to be cool kids?
Yeah, yeah!
I'd hate to see the un-cool kids! This sucks!
KMFDM, A Drug Against War
VVoiceover
Kill everything, kill everything...
Yeah, okay! Kill everything. KILL EVERYTHING! Except me.
Dammit, Beavis. Don't you care about anybody but yourself?
Um...uh...no. I don't care about anybody or anything, except me.
What about when I'm kicking your ass? Do you care about me then?
Um...no, I just care about my ass. [In Cornholio accent] It is each man for himself! I will fight and die for myself!
Well, I guess that's a good thing because like, nobody likes you. And like, you can like, care about yourself, while I'm off scoring with chicks.
[An animated man is caressing his hand against a woman's side, about to reach her breast]
Whoa!
HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER!
Settle down, dumbass.
[An animated, giant woman with noticeable breasts walks by]
Whoa, Butt-head, that chick doesn't have a head!
Uh...oh yeah. That's like that joke, what does the perfect woman look like?
Um, yeah, what?
Uh...I don't know, she's probably, you know, pretty hot. I think it's like, she has big thingys or something?
Oh yeah, that's pretty funny. She has big thingys. It's pretty funny.
Chris Knox, Half Man Half Mole
Cool, a cartoon.
Those aren't cartoons, dumbass. That's just clay.
So? Clay can be cartoons.
No it can't. Cartoons are, like, drawings, or something. Clay is, like, a thing.
So? Drawings are things.
Dammit Beavis, you're never gonna out...be...be smarter than me. So don't even try. Just shut up.
I think I know what this is. I think this is, um, Davey and Goliath.
Oh yeah. That's that show that's on Sunday mornings when there's nothing on but church.
You know one thing about that show, you know that Goliath is, um, he's supposed to be a dog, but I've never seen him lick his nads. Have you ever noticed that?
I saw him do it once real fast. He was probably like [imitating Goliath] "Uhh, Davey, you should try this."
Yeah, and then Davey said "Maybe I should pet you first." And you know, also, you know, I've never seen him poop either.
I thought I saw him poop once, but I think it was just, like, a piece of clay that fell off his butt.
Korn, Blind
Whoa! This looks like it might rock.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah. I mean, I dunno, maybe it's alright. I guess it sounds kinda cool.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.