“G”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (51), Smart Butt-head (50)
Is this another video with big Muppets?
Yeah. Yeah, here we go. Seems like they have these, like, big bird things in every video now.
Yeah.
I was just thinking, you know, you ever notice, um...Big Bird? He never poops.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, it's like, they should have him poop. Then it'd be more realistic.
[laughs] Then Big Bird could have a big turd.
[laughs] Oh yeah, that's pretty good, Butt-head!
I'm pretty funny.
You know, if I was a big bird, I'd fly around in the sky and stuff, and then, like, fly over people and poop on their lunch. I'd be like [imitates dive-bomber] "Nyaaaaaaaaanyaaaaa-poop!-nyaaaaaaaanyaaaaa-poop!"
That would be cool.
Yeah, that would rule. Actually, y'know I probably could do that without being a bird. It's like, I could go into the cafeteria, and just like stand up on the table, y'know, and pull down my pants and like, go around while people are eating their lunch and just go "Poop!"
Okay, settle down, Beavis.
And run over there and go "Poop!" A little "Poop!" over there.
That's enough.
It's chicken-fried steak! Poop!
The Grays, Very Best Years
Uhh...this is kinda irritating.
Hehe, yeah. I bet this is one of those songs that, like, it sucks right now, but then later on it starts rocking.
Uhh, how do you know?
Cause, that one guy's got a goatee.
Uhh, oh. Well, let's see. [the chorus starts, but it doesn't start rocking] Uuuuhhhh!!! Is that what you're talking about, Beavis?
What's going on?
What the hell is going on here?
Yeah, what...what is this??
[imitates an arpeggio in the song] Dududududududuh-daaaaaaaaahhh!!!
This is like that easy listening stuff.
Oh yeah. How come they call that easy listening, when it's like, it's really hard to listen to? It makes me sick!
Dammit Beavis, you promised that this would start rocking!
I didn't promise, Butt-head, I said maybe it would start rocking!
Well, maybe I'm gonna smack you upside the head, dumbass.
Well, I'm gonna kick your ass, I promise. Butthole.
[the chorus starts again]
[[sings in imitation again] Uhh...dududududududuh-daaaahhh!!! How come these guys suck so much?
Yeah. They dress up like they're gonna rock, but then they just suck!
Yeah. These guys are like a cross between Stone Temple Pilots and...
Yeah, and my nads...
Nelson, and...
And my butt...
Billy Joel, and like, uhh...
And some turds...
Eddie Rabbitt...
Green Day, Basket Case
This looks like that movie, One Flew In the Cuckoo's Nest.
Oh yeah, where they got those guys from Taxi, only they're retarded.
Uhh, you know, I heard you're not supposed to call them retarded. You're supposed to call them...uhh, mentally superior or something.
Oh yeah.
Remember that big Indian dude in that movie?
Mm-hm.
He was cool. And then he couldn't talk unless he was talking about gum.
Uhh, I think you're not supposed to call them Indian either.
No way, really?
Yeah. You're supposed to call them African American.
This reminds me of that joke, where the guy goes to the psychiatrist's office, and he goes "Doctor, my wife thinks she's a chicken". And then the doctor says "Then why don't you choke her?"
Oh yeah. [imitates chicken] Bawk-ba-bawk!
Green Day, Longview
Check it out, he's watching TV.
Yeah! And it's like, we're watching TV, so it's like, we're watching two TVs for the price of one.
Um ... what two TVs? I don't understand.
Beavis, we're watching TV, and then there's another TV in the TV.
Oh. There's like a TV inside the TV? Let's break it open and find it! Yeah!
Boy, Beavis. You're stupid.
Well, well...okay.
Look at his mouth.
Yeah, yeah. It's all encrustulated with grobiels of feces.
See what I mean, Beavis? You got like, some problem of something.
Yeah well, your, uh... your mom, you uh, your mom ... yeah.
Oh, look at the monkey! You know what they should do? They should like, break that couch. They should like, just rip it up. Like, break it.
Uh ... yeah.
Billie Joe Armstrong begins stabbing the couch]
Yeah, like that!
Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! BREAK IT! RIP IT!
Break it!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
Yes!
GET IN THERE
Kick it! Kick the couch!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! No, no no, don't stop!
Don't stop!
Don't stop, dammit!
Quitters never win!
Greta, Fathom
[various images flash rapidly on the screen]
Whoa, is this Faces of Death 3?!
Uhhh, no, it's just a video. Butthole.
Hey, how come this guy's wearing a dress?
Because he's doing his laundry, dumbass.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah! BUT MMMEEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
That sucked, Beavis.
Shut up, Butt-head, it was cool!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
