“D”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (45), Smart Beavis (45)
Whoa, check out that tornado!
That's not a tornado, that's that Tasmanian Devil dude.
Oh yeah, he kicks ass. Did you ever see that time he beat Bugs Bunny upside the head with a shovel?
Yeah. I like the one where they grab Elmer Fudd by the head, and form through a knothole in a fence, and then beat him in the head over and over again with a shovel.
Oh yeah. That's kinda harsh, Butt-head.
Yeah. Cartoons are cool.
Dinosaur Jr., Feel the Pain
Alright, golf. Yeah, I'm up for this.
Check this out. [quiet voice] He's teeing off...he's using his woody.
[quiet voice] He's trying to get a bunghole in one.
We can see some dork riding a tricycle down the street. He's in the rough.
Whoa, look a fight! Yeah, yeah, hit him!
If they had fights in golf, maybe it would be cool.
Yeah, then maybe I could watch it.
You watch golf all the time, Beavis.
Oh yeah. Golf is cool.
Check this out. [quiet voice] It looks like he's gonna use his nine-iron to smash the big fat dead guy's face in.
[quiet voice] That's right, Butt-head. I think what he's planning on doing, is smashing his glasses in, and shoving the nine-iron up his bunghole.
It looks straight...oh, he's in the water! That'll cost him a stroke.
That's right, Butt-head. Oh, I don't believe it! He's gonna actually try to, it looks like it's gonna go...
[raises voice to normal volume] You can't do it, Beavis. Shut up.
Shut up, Butt-head. You weren't that good.
You're not good at anything.
Check this out. [quiet voice] That's right, Butt-head, that's gonna cost him two strokes. He's probably gonna...dammit! Dammit!
See, Beavis, you can't do it. [quiet voice] Beavis is a complete wuss. He's not good at anything. His mom is a slut.
Dinosaur Jr, I Don't Think So
Hey Butt-head, whose trailer is that?
Uhh...it kinda looks like my Uncle Mike's.
Really? He has all those butterflies and crap on it?
No, you're thinking of my Grandma's trailer.
Oh yeah. Your Grandma's a slut.
I know. So what?
Uhh...is this Sesame Street?
Oh yeah, that looks like, uh...Grover.
You probably watch Sesame Street.
No. I used to watch it when I was a kid. And sometimes, when Sesame Street on Ice comes to town, sometimes I go check that out.
You wussy!
[sings] One of these things is not like the other/One of these things just doesn't, uh, belong...
You know the guy that comes out, and he goes "Twelve chocolate cakes", and then he, like, falls on his butt, and the cakes spill all over the place? That was pretty cool.
Oh yeah. That was kinda cool.
Whoa! I've never seen a puppet with hooters like that.
Those are some big boobs.
They probably have this chick on the show to teach kids the number 2.
I'd say this puppet chick right here is one of the top three muppets that I would do.
Really? Who else would you do, Beavis?
Well, Miss Piggy's kinda hot.
That fat pig?
Shut up, Butt-head! I like 'em with a little meat on their bones.
Dire Straits, Walk of Life
CROTCH STUFFING!
Let's try that.
Yeah, maybe we would get some.
Some what?
Dude.
Nice organ lick.
Organ lick?
These guys are hippies.
I hate hippies.
These are like sports bleepers.
Sports suck!
This is like circus music.
Yeah, this sucks!
Dr. Dre, Keep Their Heads Ringin'
Word up, this is Dr. Dre.
Yeah yeah, it's Dre! Check it out, it's Dre! Droppin' plates on yo' ass, beotch!
Yeah! The D-R-E, out on a robbin' spree. A straight G.
Um, you don't do that very good, Butt-head. It's like this: The D-R-E! A straight G!
Hey Butt-head, how come I'm white?
Because your mom's white, dumbass.
You know, my mom used to say it doesn't matter what color your skin is. It's like, what color your skin is on the inside that counts.
She's a slut.
Oh yeah. She's a cleap slut.
Check it out, the Doctor's stealing a plane.
Like, what do you do with a plane once you stole it?.
I guess you, like, go to the flea market or something.
Oh really? But then, what do you do when someone says "So, where did you get this plane?"
I'd be like "Well, I got it from the airport." Cause they have a store there.
Ah shut up, Butt-head. Keep that up and I'm gonna put the smackdown on yo' ass, beotch!
What did you say, Beavis?
I said "Shut up". I'm gonna put the smackdown on yo' ass, beotch!
Beavis, your mom is a depraved worthless slut.
Oh, yeah.
Dog Eat Dog, No Front
Aspen Extreme...
That movie sucked! I sat through that whole damn sucky movie for two hours and that chick never got naked!
Yeah. It's a good thing we snuck into that movie, 'cause if we had to pay, I would have been kicking ass all over the place.
Yeah, really. How could she not get naked, when they say "ass" right in the title?
Whoa. I didn't know that, like, rap dudes ski.
Um, I don't think these are real rap dudes, Butt-head.
Yeah. They thought if they, like, went to a ski resort, that they'd be sure no real rap dudes would find them and beat the crap out of 'em.
It's the only place they're safe! They probably, like, sit around the corner, and like, have their, like, big 40 ouncers of hot chocolate.
Yeah. No chicks, no butts.
Get me some marshmallows, bee-otch! Change the channel, Butt-head, I've had enough of this.
Okay, I think it's over though.
Ohhh, good it's over. [the song doesn't end] No, no.
Uh, now it's over.
Oh, okay now it's over. Ahhhhhhhh! Oh no. Damn it! Come on, change it Butt-head, this song's never gonna end!
What a bunch of, buttmunches!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
