“B”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (86), Smart Butt-head (85)
Remember that cartoon that had that big, fat dude in it and he used to go "Hey Hey Hey!"?
Oh yeah. And then they had that friend with his eyes cut out of his hat and he would go [In wobbling voice] Hey blblblbaby-let's go aroun-blblblblblblblblbl!
Yeah. See, they used to have cool cartoons! Cartoons now just suck.
I don't think Dorothy was this hot in the movie.
Chicks were all like ugly in olden times...it was like, really messed up.
I guess that's why old dudes are like all cranky and stuff. They're like [imitating an old man's voice] "Back in my day, you'd hardly ever get wood watching TV..." [babbles incoherently]
Blur, Chemical World
Whoa, that guy's touching his wiener!!!
So? You are too!
Yeah! Oh, oh yeah! But that's different.
What's different about it?
Um, it's a different wiener!
Yeah, it's probably bigger too.
Whoa, check it out. I-I'd like to try peeing on a snail some time. Tha-that'd be cool, yeah!
You wanna pee on a snail?
Yeah, yeah, it's like, like, I'd like to pee anywhere outside, but y'know, I just feel like, y'know, peeing on a snail, y'know, ehhh that'd be something different.
Uhhhhh, how 'bout peeing in the toilet?
Heh, oh yeah. I haven't done that in a while.
[a goat appears on screen]
Check it out, a wolf.
Whoa, really? I'd like to try peeing on a wolf some time, yeah that'd be cool.
Beavis, if you tried to pee on a wolf, he would bite your wiener off!
Ohhhh yeah. I'd like to try maybe peeing on one of these guys, some time, y'know like, while they're asleep?
Yeah, you must get tired of peeing on yourself all the time.
Shut up, Butt-head. Y'know, when I was like, y'know, talkin' about peeing on those wolves and stuff?
Uh-huh?
I wasn't really gonna do it, y'know. It just like, y'know, it like, helps to talk about it.
Blur, Parklife
This is a happy little tune.
Can you change the channel, Butt-head?
Hey, is that that dude who's the host on Family Feud?
Oh yeah. Survey SAID!!! Pretty good, huh?
Name the place where I usually kick Beavis.
Um, nads?
Survey SAID!!! [imitates buzzer] Buuuuhhhhh!!!! I'm sorry, the correct answer was "ass".
Damn it.
And I have to kick you there right now. [smacks Beavis]
AAHH! Cut it out, butthole! Family Feud sucks.
Yeah, [scoffs] families.
I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays, when I get rudely wakened by the dustmen...
What the hell language is he speaking?
I don't know. It's like, I can hear some American words in there, but then, it's like, I can't really tell what he's saying.
Yeah. This must be English. [Beavis utters mock British gibberish] England sucks. You know those asswipes the Beatles? They ruined music!
How come all these dudes have to put an ice cream truck in their video?
I don't know. I guess it's like...whoa, whoa, slap him!
Michael Bolton, Everybody's Crazy
Michael, are you crazy?
Uh, Michael who?
Michael Jackson?
[the conversation in the video continues]
Oh my god, it's Michael Bolton!
No it's not. [embarrased] Uhh...uh oh.
What, what?
I think I just pooped in my pants.
No way, really?
I realized it was Michael Bolton, and my bowels let loose.
Boy, it's like, he's trying to play heavy metal now or something.
He can probably make any kind of music suck.
Yeah, it's like, he's probably gonna do gangsta rap next, probably like [does a bad imitation of Michael Bolton] "Droppin' plates on yo ass, bee-otch!"
Yeah. Then he'd put the smackdown.
How come chicks like this dude so much?
There's some snakes and bombs in this. Maybe he has a bomb in his pants!
Well, you know, um, you have a BM in your pants. So like, maybe you could, like, y'know, go up to a chick and say, uh, "Yeah, I have a bi-em in my pants".
Beavis, I was just kidding. I didn't poop in my pants. Dumbass.
Michael Bolton, How Am I Supposed to Live Without You
Uh!
[Beavis does a spit take]
UUAUGH!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
UUHH!!!
CHANGE IT, BUTT-HEAD!!!!
AUGH!
CHANGE IT!!!! COME ON!!!!
Augh!
COME ON, BUTT-HEAD, CHANGE IT, CHANGE IT!!!!!!!!!
Come on, Beavis, just check it out.
[butting in] CHANGE IT!!! Aah!
I think this is one of those, like, coffee commercials. [singing badly] THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP!
"Remember that café in Paris?"
Yeah!
"JEAN PIERE!"
This sucks!
Yeah really!
Bon Jovi, In These Arms
AAGH!
UUGH!
NO!
Check this out! What a wuss!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
