Whoa! That dude can scream for a long time.
No way, that's nothing! Check this out. [Beavis screams without stopping for the remainder of the video]
Shut up!
Biohazard w/ Onyx, Judgment Night
“B”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (86), Smart Butt-head (85)
These guys are cool cause they're like, pissed off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they're cool cause they're like, pissed off.
Damnit Beavis, how come you always have to repeat what I say? Why do you do that?
Yeah, heh, why do you do that?
Beavis, if you repeat what I say one more time I'm gonna kick your ass.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
See, you did it again, Beavis.
You did it again, heh, Beavis.
Bivouac, Cynic
Uh...this is boring.
Yeah, really! It's boring enough to watch this, and then they're bored doing it; maybe next time, they'll learn to rock!
What a bunch of wussies. It's like they're all hanging out by the diving board, but like, everyone's too chicken to jump off.
If they could like take those guitars and those amps, and just like, push them off the diving board and into the water, and you know, watch them all get electrocuted or something, that would rule!
You know, um, I dove off the high dive once. Remember? That was cool.
Uh, you didn't dive, Beavis, you fell off. You were trying to run back to the ladder and you slipped.
No, no way!
You were flailing around in the water. And then that dude with the hairy chest came and saved you.
Shut up, Butt-head! At least I fell off it! I didn't even see you climb up!
Yeah I did! After they took you off in the ambulance, I was like, doing a bunch of swan dives. It was cool! And then I scored.
Whoa, really? You're cool, Butt-head!
Yeah. It was cool!
Björk, Army of Me
This is that, Bee-ork chick...
I heard she has a, you know, like, a schlong.
Where did you hear that?
This guy told me.
What guy?
This guy in the bathroom.
You mean in the bathroom at school?
No, the bathroom right here. Right here in this house.
What are you talking about, Beavis?
There's this dude who's in there sometimes. I'm serious. He's probably still there, he was there this morning.
Damn it Beavis. There's no one in there.
Yes there is, Butt-head. Go check it out.
Beavis, you're a bunghole. [exits. the sound of a door opening can be heard] Uhh...Beavis, flush the toilet next time! [re-enters] There wasn't anybody in there.
Hm. Usually he's in the mirror.
Uhh...does he look like a buttmunch?
Um...yeah.
Does he have like blond hair?
Yeah, yeah, that's him. Yeah.
And does he kinda talk like this? [does a bad impression of Beavis] "Oh yeah, uh huh huh huh."
Yeah, yeah! Kinda like that. "Yeah, yeah, björk has a dong".
Dumbass.
Björk, Big Time Sensuality
Is that Snoop Doggy Dog?
No, dumbass. That's a chick. She's got his haircut, though.
She's a weirdo.
She's like one of those drama club teachers.
They're always trying to get you to prance around like some kind of wussy.
Yeah, it's like they say: "Be a tree".
"Now be a sad tree, now be a happy tree".
Man, this chick is out of her gourd.
She's like completely whacked out.
I can't really blame her, because, like, some of these weird chicks makes tons of money.
Really?
Yeah, it's not like they are going around saying: "We need a normal chick to dance on a truck."
Butt-head, do you think I could make some like money if I acted like a weird chick.
I think you have to be like from England or something.
Dammit.
Whoa, she's grabbing her crotch!
Oh yeah. Butt-head, I though chicks didn't have a crotch.
No, dumbass. You're thinking of nads
No, I'm thinking of the crotch actually. But, some girls have a crotch? I'll be damned.
Black Crowes, High Head Blues
Whoa, cool! That's just like that spaceship I was telling you about, Butt-head!
Uh, what spaceship?
Y'know, that one that landed right outside my window? And then like, these dudes came in the house and like, hypmotized me, and then like, took me into space and stuff. See, check out these marks on my leg. This is where they tried to esperiment on me.
Beavis, that's where you got a gravel burn tryin' to look cool on your bike!
Oh yeah, yeah, that's right.
And you looked like a dork.
Yeah, that wasn't too good, yeah.
Whoa! Check it out, Butt-head, they're gonna put him in the oven! AH!
Yeah. They're putting him in the oven 'cause no one likes him anymore.
Um, I still kinda like him, but um, but y'know, I think it's cool that they're gonna put him in the oven. Y'know.
Who are these little guys?
Uh, I think these are like the Seminiferous Nadclobial Buttnoids?
Oh yeah, the Seminiferous Buttcloids from outer space. Yeah, yeah that's what they are.
They're gonna climb inside his mouth and walk down to his wiener!
Yeah, this is gonna be cool. Y'know if, um, if those Seminiferous Nadial Globial Buttnoids had to walk down my mouth and like, all the way down to my wiener, that would be a long walk! Know what I'm saying? Y'know?
Yeah. And then they'd probably get lost and come out your bunghole.
Yeah, and then I could poop 'em out! Poop!
Remember that time your mom's cat ate all that string? And then for like a week he had, like, poop on a rope.
Oh yeah, that was cool! It was like sausage links! That ruled.
Blues Traveler, Run Around
Whoa! Check out that chick's panties!
Damn it, Beavis! Don't talk to me when a chick's panties are on TV. It's like...you mess up my mind, and I can't see the panties right.
Uh...I think this is Blues Traveler.
No it's not! Where's that big fat dude?
I think that's him, Beavis. I think he just like, lost a lot of weight.
Dammit, that pisses me off! Everybody keeps getting skinny!
Yeah. He looked better when he was a big, fat slob on stage going blblblblblblblblblbl.
Yeah. His stomach was hanging over his pants, going blblblblblblblblblbl.
No Beavis! I'm fingering my lips. Blblblblblblblblblbl-big fat dude-blblblblblbl.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.