[seeing Jon Bon Jovi]
Is that Bridget Fonda?
Yeah! Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda! My anaconda don't want none unless it's got buns, hun!
“B”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (86), Smart Butt-head (85)
"I'm a cowboy".
Yeah, "Riding his steel horse, across the great wuss plains!"
JBJon Bon Jovi
Baby, I want you!
[mockingly] BABY, I WANT YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!! LIKE THE ROSES WANT THE RAIN!!
"Like the roses want the rain"? [pauses] That's stupid!
Yeah, yeah! Hey Butt-head, remember when these guys were cool?
Uhhhhhhhhhhh, no? You probably like these guys! Wuss!
Shut up, Butt-head, I hate these guys! I was thinkin' of like, somebody else.
Bon Jovi, Something For the Pain
[scoffing] Bon Jovi.
But you know, this song, it's kind of, um...uh...never mind.
Uhh, what?
Well, I was just gonna say, you know, this song, I mean...you know, it sucks, but there's this one part that I kinda like where it kinda goes [sings] "Give me something for the pain..."
Uhh, what did you say, Beavis?
Well, no, I'm just saying...you know, I kinda like this one part of the song where it goes [sings] "Give me something for the pain..." [Butt-head slaps Beavis multiple times] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Cut it out, bunghole!
I'm doing it for your own good, Beavis. You were starting to like this song.
Well, no, I mean, I still think Bon Jovi sucks, but I just kinda think this song, you know, it kind of, um...there's just this one part that kind of, like...[Butt-head repeatedly slaps Beavis again]
If you say one more good thing about Bon Jovi, I'm gonna really smack the bejesus out of you.
Okay, so it sucks. But it doesn't suck as much as...[Butt-head repeatedly slaps Beavis again] Cut it out! Damn it, Butt-head! Bon Jovi rules! [kicks Butt-head in the testicles] Bunghole!
Dammit, Beavis!
Take that! Yeah, I like this song.
This sucks. And as soon as my nads feel better, I'm gonna beat the living crap outta you. [Beavis kicks him in the testicles again] AAAAHHH!!!
You can't tell me what sucks! I like this, so blow it up your ass!
Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, What I Am
[Referring to Edie, who is squatting] She's pinching a loaf.
That's disgusting!
She's married to that short, old guy.
Oh yeah. That guy from Africa that used to be in The Beatles.
EBEdie Brickell
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep.
She said "deep."
EBEdie Brickell
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep!
[Butt-head laughs]
EBEdie Brickell
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep!
[Butt-head laughs again]
EBEdie Brickell
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too...
BHButt-head, Edie Brickell
...deep!
This chick is deep.
EBEdie Brickell
What I am is what I am...
"What I am." Didn't Popeye say that?
Yeah! They ripped this off from Popeye.
Paul Broucek, Hollywood Halloween
Whoa, check it out, he has an eyeball in his mouth.
That would be cool if you had, like, an eyeball in your butt. And then you could like, uh-
Ah, shut up, Butt-head, you always say stuff like that.
Beavis, I'm gonna shove your eyeballs up your butt sideways if you ever tell me to shut up again.
Heh, oh oh yeah.
Uh, these dudes look too old to be trick or treating.
Maybe they were like, um, you know how sometimes the kids' dads gets dressed up too?
Yeah, dads.
Or uh, nads.
Remember that time your mom had that Halloween party?
Oh yeah. Don't talk about that Butt-head.
Then we went in your mom's room, and that dude dressed up like Colonel Sanders was in there. He didn't have any pants on.
Shut up, Butt-head.
His "drumstick".
Shut up, Butt-head! [starts laughing] Oh yeah yeah. Oh yeah! His drumstick.
[a man in a Spider-Man costume is seen robbing a cash register]
Look, it's Batman.
Oh yeah. Anyways, um, whoa cool, cops, yeah! Maybe we'll see some domestic disputes! Or like some excessive force on some perpetrators!
It's about time somebody called the cops. This video sucks.
Julie Brown, Girl Fight Tonight!
JBJulie Brown
Girl fight tonight!
Yeah! Girl fight! Chicks! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Here are some chicks!
Uh...not so fast, Beavis. These aren't chicks. This is like, that beer commercial where those poor dudes come in and it's like, ladies night, and they're dressed up like chicks.
Um...no way, really?
Yeah. It's really dumb.
No way Butt-head! Um...really?
Yeah.
Um...boy, he has pretty nice boobs for a dude.
Um...yeah, I guess so.
[After Julie pulls a switchblade on a girl] Whoa! Check it out, she's got a boner switchblade.
Cool! [Girl who got threatened backs against a wall] I'll save you baby, I'll save you! As long as you do it with me. It's like one of those movies where they're kicking ass at a restaurant and a guy says "Your crab style very good, but it no match for my crane style!"
Yeah, except this is a beer commercial.
Oh yeah.
I like when girls fight, 'cause they're like "She called me a bitch, and I said you're a slut, well we'll go outside and see who the slut is, bitch!"
Settle down, Beavis.
JBJulie Brown
That's right, you slut!
Yeah, you slut!
JBJulie Brown
I'm gonna rip out your hairs one by one!
Yeah, bitch!
[Julie tackles a girl into a kiddie pool of a white substance, the duo are in awe]
They should have done this in the beginning of the video!
The Bubblemen, The Bubblemen Are Coming
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.