Switchboard, Commissioner Gordon here. Plug me in at once into the Hotline Batphone circuit.
I regret to say, sir, Batman and Robin are not at present available.
What? Surely, you, you must be jesting.
Alas, sir, I am not. Batman is enjoying one of his infrequent vacations.
Ohh! Catastrophic! Unprecedented! Batman and Robin not available! You know what this means, don't you?
If you're thinking what I'm afraid you're thinking.
Precisely, Chief O'Hara. The moment we've dreaded for years has arrived. This time, we're going to have to solve a case ourselves.
C Chandell
I've covered for the fiend long enough. It was my criminal twin brother--Harry
Holy fratricide! Any idea where he hangs out?
C Chandell
As a matter of fact, yes. His lair is an abandoned music roll factory. 20 B Front Street. Zip code, 9999979.
Holy Metronome! What a fate--punched into player-piano rolls!
True, Robin, scarcely an end I'd rather anticipate! Life--a cupful of surprises to the last drop!
Self-control is sure tough sometimes, Batman!
All virtues are, old chum. Indeed, that's why they're virtues.
[to his election crew] Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people!
That Batman won't garner enough votes to become elected dogcatcher!
[to Batman, after falling in, but surviving, the sulphuric acid deathtrap] Good thing we just got these new acid-proof suits, Batman!
[to an offer from the Democratic National Committee] But I thought you already had a candidate for 1968.
Gosh Batman, dig those flavors; Lemon-Lime, Orange, Raspberry, Pineapple...
Pick your choice, Boy Wonder!
Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin. We can live with those. However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else.
We have tickets for tonight's finals in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy contest. I know Robin is a little young for this sort of thing, but...
I'm not gonna be young all my life, Batman, and besides beauty contests are practically an American institution.
You see, gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable.
C Cornelia
It's a cool pad, Joker.
Huh, all you've seen of this cool pad, Cornelia, is that mirror. Vanity is a waste of time. I never look at myself.
C Cornelia
Well I'm younger, Joker, and a girl; and it is a cool pad.
Well, it will do for the purpose.
SS Sam Stone
Your daily workout, Batman?
Yes, crimefighters have to stay in shape, but you know that.
SS Sam Stone
Well, my job's a little easier. Sometimes, a fast gun has the edge on a fast batrope. I'm not invading your territory, I'm just tracking down a clue incognito.
Welcome, and good luck. If you need help, you can always locate us through Commissioner Gordon's office.
The Batphone number's is unlisted.
SS Sam Stone
Smart thinking. Don't slip.
And if you want to pollute any more water, you'll find plenty where you're going -- up the river!!
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
