When the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 11, that would be...
Eleven o'clock, Shame honey.
Eleven o'clock, Shame honey...doggone it, I know!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
...it shouldn't take us more than three minutes to run the mile.
Gosh, Batman, that's a new world's record.
Breaking world's records is just part of crime fighting, Robin.
Are you ready to be incarcerated, King Tut?
With the greatest pleasure. You could jail me for a million years and I wouldn't flinch an inch. Oh, at last, Nirvana is within my grasp.
You appear to be quite breezy for a man about to be tucked away.
I know, and so would you if you knew what I know; and if I know you, no doubt you know what I now know. Why waste my time with someone who knows, I have to find someone who doesn't know. [to Chief O'Hara] Do you know? No.
Sounds like The Riddle of the Sphinx.
Nothing so simple as that, dear lady. I hold the key to the riddle of the ages. You're too late, Dynamic Dimwits.
Holy waste of energy.
What has he told you?
Nothing. He's been running off at the mouth about some secret or riddle.
The beans, so to speak, are about to be spilled. Batman and Robin, prepare to meet the end of your usefulness. Lady and gentlemen, Batman and Robin are... [BABBLES]
It's only gonna prolong the agony, Batman.
Not necessarily, Robin. That blow on his head could be exactly what saves us. I certainly hope so.
Where am I?
You were about to tell us a secret, King Tut.
King Tut? My name is William Omaha McElroy... and I'm professor of Egyptology at Yale University.
You don't remember what you were going to tell us?
Who do you have a purple mask on, lady? I'm going to be late for class.
Uh, just a moment, professor.
You can't walk off like this.
Harvard people, nice speaking to you.
It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park.
Ha-ha-ha! It's time for my ultimate ultimatum. Hear this. Now hear this. All citizens of Gotham City and the world. this is the Joker speaking to you from outer space. From inner outer space. Yes, advising you to... What's the matter, Verdigris? We've passed the city. We're headed right back to Flying Circus Hill. and the abandoned launching pad factory. Oh. Depress the Aerothermo Turret Resojets. Accelerate the Isothermal Oxyacetylene Vaporometers.
VVerdigris
Huh?
Step on the gas!
VVerdigris
This, uh, thingamajig is stuck here.
But we're headed right back where we started. Ooh! Ooh!
EEmerald
Well, at least it was a soft landing, poopsie.
Yes, but on the wrong planet. I wanted to rule the world from Mars! I like the looks of that place!
[Batman and Robin suddenly appear]
Yes, I think you'd be more comfortable there at the moment, Joker.
CDr. Cassandra
I intend to succeed where my foremothers failed.
CCabala
Four mothers?
CDr. Cassandra
The ancient alchemy bit has been handed down for generations through the females of my family. All abject failures. Nowheres-ville!
CCabala
Yeah, just like my family. They couldn't wait for the Depression, they went broke during the boom.
CDr. Cassandra
My great-grandmother discovered how to transmute base metals into gold. But she cut out when she added CH3, CH2, H2, and NO2.
CCabala
Put them all together, they spell T-N-T.
CDr. Cassandra
They found pieces of her as far away as Londinium.
CCabala
Man, that was a trip.
CDr. Cassandra
Now Grandma perfected a universal solvent, fell in the stuff and was universally dissolved.
CCabala
Wow.
CDr. Cassandra
We buried her in a thimble.
CCabala
Well, how about dear ol' Mommy-O?
CDr. Cassandra
Ah, dear ol' Mommy-O cashed in when she perfected a perpetual motion machine, tripped... and was ground to bits by it.
CCabala
Man, you sure come from a long line of winnners, baby.
[Robin looks at Batgirl.]
You know something, Batman?
What's that, Robin?
She looks very pretty when she's asleep.
I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum.
Batman, you unscrambled that safe's combination in three seconds flat! How did you do it?
With my Three-Seconds-Flat-Bat-Combination-Unscrambler, Commissioner.
What happened to Batgirl?!
Who knows, Robin? Who ever knows?
[The last original scene of the series]
That's life, Robin, full of ups and downs. It ill befits any of us to become too confident.
Alfred (whispering into Bruce Wayne's ear): It's the Bat-Phone, sir.
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batpoles!
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batcave!
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batmobile!
DGDick Grayson/Robin
Holy (subject), Batman!
(at end of episode) Tune in tomorrow/next week, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.