Osaka quotes from Azumanga Daioh

Osaka

When you think about it rationally, you don't really need turtles.

Osaka

There will be lots of cute cats and dogs in the Cafe... and they're all dead. [The other girls groan.]

Osaka

[Pointing at a mounted Iriomote cat at a museum.] Yamapikarya! [Points to a real Iriomote cat] Yamapikarya!

Osaka

And then he'll look like that.....

Osaka

Nice and bony.

Kaorin

Osaka, what are you doing?

Osaka

You know those tiny bubbles inside your eyes you sometimes catch?

Osaka

Yeah, I'm trackin' them down as we speak.

Yukari

We're Team Yukari!

[unenthusiastically] Yay.

Osaka

We're Team Sea Slug!

Chiyo

Osaka?

Kaorin

But sea slugs are so... [pause]

Osaka

Go Team Sea Slug!

Tomo

That's right! We're stylin' and profilin'!

Osaka

But don't you have boyfriends to show off your style to?

Yukari

We're here!

We were watching.

Osaka

We're not afraid of rollercoasters anymore...after this...you know...

Chiyo

Let's take our time and count our steps, okay?

Osaka

Okay, nice and slow.

Osaka

Chiyo-chan, why are you flying?

Chiyo

I'm ten years old!

Osaka

Sakaki is absorbing something from you!

Chiyo

Sakaki, did you take my height?

Sakaki

Uh...no...

Chiyo

You took it, right? You took it, right? You took it, right?...Give it back!

Tomo

Hey, what are you guys acting so cool for?

Huh?

Tomo

Come on you two, say something back at her!

Huh? [Pointing to Tomo] Knucklehead.

Tomo

[Pronouncing with "s"] Knuckleheads.

Oh. [To Yomi] Who you calling knucklehead?!

Chiyo

That was interesting, but I'm a little confused. what did you mean by.... [the soundtrack goes silent as Chiyo mimes out certain very odd sexual references]

What? Chiyo, who told you about that?

Yukari

You did

Tomo

Thank you very much, sensei!

Osaka

That was very informative.

Kagura

[worshipfully] I'm so proud of you, Coach.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?

Osaka

I think that when Christmas time comes...

Chiyo

Yes?

Osaka

There's a red-nosed reindeer. That's mean. "Your shining nose is useful in the fog..." The way he said it doesn't help at all. If you tell a bald man his head is useful in the dark, you'd get punched in the face. Santa Claus says such cruel things.

Chiyo

[Has no idea what Osaka is talking about.] Uh, yeah...

Kagura

Chiyo-Chan's studying abroad! Amazing!

Tomo

Amazing!

Chiyo

No... really...

Tomo

Mm. She's gonna die.

Chiyo

Ahh!

Osaka

Mm. You know, 'cause your family's rich and you're so tiny. [she suddenly grabs Chiyo by the pigtails] And you're easy to catch!

Tomo

Hey! What are you stopping for?

[Tomo stretches her face and sticks out her tongue as Yukari motions as if honking her horn] Loser! Loser!

Kaorin

[pointing ahead with a horrified expression] IT'S RED!!!

Osaka

Ooh. They're flyin'.