Yukari Tanizaki quotes from Azumanga Daioh

Yukari

Damn you, [bicycle] chain. I'll show you one day.

Yukari

BASKETBALL! Now is the basketball era! Come sweat with your teacher and live out your youth to its fullest potential!

Yukari

Listen up, everyone! I have one word that I want to say to all of you. And that word is... FIRST PLACE!

Yukari

Our school trip is coming up next month. You look excited, Chiyo-chan.

Yukari

Actually, it's been canceled.

Yukari

Hey, I said you could ask anything, but my measurements are top secret! Not that I'm ashamed, of course. In fact, I dare say they're pretty spectacular. Oh, you impetuous boy! Look what you made me say on the first day!

What I meant is that your class is next door. This is Class 4. [Yukari slithers away]

Tomo

Sensei.

Yukari

What? What's wrong?

Tomo

I smashed that cockroach just now with my textbook.

Tomo

What should I do?

Yukari

Get away from me! GET AWAY! [She continues to scream]

Yukari

We're Team Yukari!

[unenthusiastically] Yay.

Osaka

We're Team Sea Slug!

Chiyo

Osaka?

Kaorin

But sea slugs are so... [pause]

Osaka

Go Team Sea Slug!

Yukari

We're here!

We were watching.

Osaka

We're not afraid of rollercoasters anymore...after this...you know...

Tomo

So, it's Nyamo's turn. Share some of your vast array of adult experiences.

[very uncomfortable] Well, I'm single too, so i really don't have any of those stories.

Tomo

Darn.

Yukari

You weren't single last year. [Nyamo shakes a little]

Yukari

An adult being dressed by a child...

You don't know how to put one on either!

Tomo

I thought for sure you'd be able to, Nyamo.

Yukari

[to the group] Isn't strange that Ms. Kurosawa here, who can tie a man's necktie, cannot put on her own kimono?

Tomo

You can tie a necktie?!

Yukari

The story begins long ago, when Ms. Nyamo was madly in love. This she-beast here used to practice doing neckties using me as her guinea pig!

So what?!

Yukari

Unfortunately, they broke up before she could show off her new skill. So her next ambition was-

Chiyo

That was interesting, but I'm a little confused. what did you mean by.... [the soundtrack goes silent as Chiyo mimes out certain very odd sexual references]

What? Chiyo, who told you about that?

Yukari

You did

Tomo

Thank you very much, sensei!

Osaka

That was very informative.

Kagura

[worshipfully] I'm so proud of you, Coach.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?

Tomo

I bet if she married Kimura she has a really bad personality.

Yukari

On the contrary! I hear that Kimura's wife is so sweet and gentle that she is willing to put up with that!

Tomo

[awestruck] Is she some kind of angel?

Yukari

Listen up! I'm tired of just being an English teacher, so today I'm teaching you kids Math!

Math, huh?

Yukari

We're doing P.E.! Everybody outside.

Yukari

We're playing soccer!

Sure, but do you even know the rules?

Yukari

I'm Nakata! [a player on Japan's national team -- the dub uses American women's international Mia Hamm.]

What?

Yukari

My position is Nakata!

Yukari

[ecstatic at having scored] GOAL! GOAL! GOOOOAL!

Sensei, that was our goal.

Yukari

Actually, I'm a spy for the other team.

Whatever.