YMiss Yardswick
National Associated Canteen Employees, Restaurant and Domesticated.
"Knackered". I might have guessed.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Here, Captain Peacock, have you asked Rumbold yet about selling the perfume?
No. He's busy showing Miss Belfridge the ropes.
SMiss Slocombe
I bet she can't type with more than one finger.
That's exactly what my wife said when I showed her the photo.
What photo?
Oh er... in the senior staff magazine. Here. "Menswear News. Miss B. Belfridge wins top position as C. Rumbold's temporary secretary" Look.
[Photo shows Miss Belfridge in a bathing suit]
She's in a bathing costume!
Just.
Well, it does liven up an otherwise abysmally dull publication.
Huh. Bet old jug ears didn't dare show that to his missus.
Not if he has any sense. Mine was even worried she was on the same floor as me.
Well, you do have quite a reputation, Stephen.
[Chuckles]
Well you used to.
Think of the fun we could have, not having to come to work any more. I'd go to the pictures everyday and get up late.
I'd play golf. Fancy just driving one down the middle.
I'd spend all in day in my garden, tending it and trying out my gnomes in new positions.
Mr Harman, as Captain Peacock isn't here, I feel it's up to me to tell you that I don't want you on the floor at this time of the morning.
My wife will be pleased to hear that. She's a very jealous woman.
No no I should never give in to an Italian whopper!
They do have rumours in the underworld!
Mr Humphries': [After pawning watch to place a bet] I hope this horse wins. My mother gave me that watch when I became captain of the embroidery team.
Hello pet, it's your mistress speaking. Now listen, I'm gonna be later than I thought. So why don't you lay down on that big comfy bed of yours and when I come home I'll tickle your tummy all over.
Oh, I'm soo sorry Mr. Akbar! I must have misdialed. It's your neighbor Mrs. Slocombe... What do you mean, you leave your key under the mat?
Oh my little pet, I'm ever so sorry, but I'll make it up to you when I get home. Why don't you open your little flap and play with your ball? [Listens] Mr. Akbar, how dare you!
Would you like my pump up your proboscis?
Are you trying to put the wind up me?
I was just repricing my stock. I've put the shirts up 95 pence and the gloves and ties 50 pence. And, if it's alright with you, I'd like to drop my pants and display my y-fronts.
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