...and that's why my dad didn't go to his dad's funeral, and why I won't go to my dad's funeral! [he crumples up his paper, throws it on the ground angrily, and storms off]
Steve, you're up.
Yeah. Uh, see... m-my dad wasn't really willing to answer the questions.
Sounds like a whole lot of nonsense, Steve. You know what I think? I think you're just trying to get out of this assignment.
[shortly] Oh, is that what you think? Okay, Mr. Brink, here we go. [Steve walks up in front of the class, pulls out his cellphone, and speed-dials Stan]
Hello?
Hey, Dad. I'm calling from my history class. So, who was president when you were a kid?
Oh, I don't know, I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? [Mr. Brink's eyes widen, while Steve simply looks bored] You know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up, before I remember who I am and what my life is all about--
[voice breaking] anxiety, disappointment... diarrhea more often than not. [sighs] I don't-- I don't know if there's an afterlife, but who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days. [Steve hangs up]
See, Mr. Brink? [he looks up to see Mr. Brink is no longer at his desk] Mr. Brink?
[sadly] He's right-- it's pointless. Life... dismissed. [he jumps out the window, and a loud, wet thud is heard right after]
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