American Dad! · Season 2, Episode 9
“The Best Christmas Story Never” · Season 2, Episode 9
In this episode: Stan Smith (3), Steve Smith (1), Francine Smith (1), God (1)
Ah, the lighting of the town Christmas tree- can you think of anything more American?
An American flag?
Or. Or an American flag with Christmas trees for stars! Ooh, that would make a good cake. [pulls out personal tape recorder] Note to self: I like cake.
Lets talk about it over dinner. Say...my place?
Lets talk about it over your brains. Say...all over the place? Ha Ha. Fantastic.
[Stan has gone to God to get a second chance]
I'll just cut to the chase, I'm not going to help you.
What? Then just help my family. You can't let them die.
Look, everything happens for a reason.
What reason could there be?
Stan, I'm gonna level with you. If your family is allowed to live, Stanford's tennis team will go 0 and 8 in conference play.
What?
[laughs] I'm just messing with you, the point is mysterious ways, have a little faith, I'm in the details. Now c'mon, you can be triceratops. I know he's your favorite.
[Stan draws a "Heaven Gun", which can kill anything]
We're out of time. Now, send me back so I can save my family!
Not gonna happen.
You have to!
Okay, so you know better than me, is that it? You're all-knowing?
No. Yes. I don't know.
Exactly! You don't know, so stop trying to control everything.
I don't do that!
Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I can't think of a metaphor that's better than this.
[after Linda rescued her in front of the grocery store] I thought my boring routine was killing me, but it ended up saving my life. And that fake lesbian kiss, what a great idea!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
