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All That quotes

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All That
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

JSJosh Server

Guys...guys...listen up. Has anybody met Amanda yet?

KTKenan Thompson

You mean Amanda, our new cast member?

JSJosh Server

I'm afraid so.

Wait second; what's wrong with Amanda?

Well, let's just say, she's way too happy and perky.

Oh, I hate happy and perky.

AAmanda

Hi-hi, everyone, it's me, Amanda!

KOKenan [offscreen]

What's, what's up?

AAmanda

I just wanted to tell y'all how happy and perky I am to be joining the cast of All That. We're all gonna have such fun.

LBLori Beth [sarcastically]

Oh, I'm sure we are.

AAmanda

Okay, everybody; gather 'round.

KMKel Mitchell

Aw, c'mon, Goldilocks.

Uh, look, Amanda; nothing personal, but...we don't like to gather.

AAmanda

Oh, Lori Beth, you are so funny.

Don't you forget it.

AAmanda

C'mon, you guys; I have something for all of you. Now, for the boys, I made you all a bunch of oatmeal and raisin cookies.

KFKenan [faking excitement]

Oh, cookies!

AAmanda

And for the girls, stuffed animals! Lori Beth, I got you a bear, and for Alisa, a tiger. And for Katrina, a pretty pink bunny. Isn't he just too cute?

KJKatrina Johnson

Way...too cute.

Five minutes! Show starts in five minutes! Oh, I see you've all met our new cast member, Amanda. Isn't she all happy and perky? I just know she's gonna fit right in. Oh, a bunny!

Amanda gave it to me.

I got a tiger.

KJKel, Josh, and Kenan [in unison]

Cookies.

What wonderful gifts. I enjoy gifts.

AAmanda

Oh, Kevin; you didn't think I'd forget you, did you?

You got me a present?

AAmanda

Of course.

Give it...

I can't take too much more of her.

She makes me queasy.

KKel

Even her cookies are too sweet.

You just don't like her 'cause she's all sweet and kindly. You know, we could all learn a thing or two from Amanda; that's what I say.

ABAmanda [brings a black armchair with a red button on the right arm]

And this is for Kevin.

Chair!

AAmanda

A very special chair for a very special stage manager...

Oh, it's so comfy. My rear feels all happy. You know, I do need to relax now and then, you know...what's this red button right here?

AAmanda

Gee, I don't know. Why don't you push it?

Alrighty.

AAmanda

Adios, sucker.

You did that on purpose, didn't you?

AAmanda

Uh-huh.

Amanda? Just have one thing to say...welcome to the cast!

[while teaching the "gifted" class] "Now, did everybody here read Chapter 1?"

S1Student #1 [Server]

"Uh, Principal Pimpell. These books you gave us are weird".

S2Student #2 [Reyes]

"Yeah; no pictures".

S3Student #3 [Johnson]

"They're just full of these pages with little black squiggles".

"No; you got it upside down. Now, these little black 'squiggles' are symbols called 'letters'. Now, now, together, these letters form visual representations of words, like, for example, let me see...'coconut'! 'Coconut' is a word. Can anybody say, 'coconut'?"

S4Student #4 [Denberg]

"C-C-C-scissors?"

[someone has asked about lactose-intolerant; Johnson's character appears from inside of a grocery display]

Superdude is lactose-intolerant. That means he can be harmed by dairy products.

WWoman

You mean like ham?

No. Ham is meat. Dairy products include milk, butter, cream, cheese, cream cheese, and...

YYoGurl

Yogurt!

Host of "What's in the Box?" [Server] to one of the contestants, Paula Bahre [Denberg]: Paula, get ready.

ATAnnouncer [to the viewers]

Inside the box...is an orange.

HHost

Paula...your first question, dear?

PPaula

Is it a fruit?

HHost

Yes!

PPaula

Is it orange?

HHost

Wait...now, wait a minute. Now, Paula...did you ask if it's the color orange, or an actual orange, as in, the fruit?

PPaula

I was asking if it was the color orange.

HHost

Okay; yes, it is the color orange, and, uh...I have a feeling that she's gonna guess what's in the box now.

PPaula

Me, too. Is it some sort of musical instrument?

HHost

No; Paula? We've already told you it's a fruit...and it's orange.

PPaula

Is it a trumpet?

HHost

No! Paula! We've told you that it is not a musical instrument, and that it is a fruit, and that it is orange...as in a fruit that is orange, or an orange fruit...

PPaula

Do you use it in a bathtub?

HHost

Is there something wrong with you? You were on the right track when you guessed that it was a small, orange fruit! Orange! O, R, A, N, G, E...orange!

PPaula

Is it bigger than that box?

HHost

No, it's not bigger than the box! It's inside the box, Paula. How could it be bigger than the box?

PPaula

Is it a kangaroo?

HHost

Is my mic on? Testing...testing...

PPaula

So then it's not a kangaroo?

HHost

Is there something wrong with your head? A kangaroo is a large marsupial. This is a small, orange fruit. Orange! Orange! Orange!

HHost

Does this look like a kangaroo to you?

PPaula

Is it blue?

AAnnouncer

Time's up!

HHost

Wait, stop the music! Turn the lights back on!

HHost

Time is definitely, definitely not up! I'm the host around here, and nobody, I mean nobody is going anywhere, until this freak guesses what's in the box! Now, look, freak! It's a small, orange fruit! It has a navel. It has an orange rind, that you can peel. It's orange, orange, orange!

PPaula

I give up?

HHost

You can't give up! You cannot give up; you can't, you can't you can't you can't! It grows on an orange tree! You can make orange juice out of it! I've showed it to you; it's round; it's ORANGE! ORANGE! ORANGE!!...

RRonald (guest star Steve Freeman)

I'm Ronald, your new stage manager.

(The Island Girls are visited by Kiki's sister, Didi)

DJDidi [Johnson]

Hello, hello!

I wonder who that is?

Who cares? It's a person...it's a person that's not you!

(She runs to Didi)

Thank you, whoever you are! I'm rescued! I'm rescued! Finally--I'm rescued! Who are you?

(Didi removes her goggles)

Didi!

DDidi

Kiki!

Kiki, who is this?

This is my sister, Didi! Didi, this is my bestest friend, Fran!

(She hugs Fran, who looks terrified.)

YOUR SISTER?!

When eating pizza, it's good to yell at the top of your lungs, "I JUST LOVE-A THE PIZZA PIE! I JUST LOVE-A THE PIZZA PIE!". How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood'? Ya know, I...couldn't care less. If you throw up on a crowded elevator, try yelling, "Oh, I just shouldn't have eaten the pizza pie".

GTGolfer [Thompson] to the Lemonade Scammer

Um, excuse me, have you seen my hat? (He notices the hat on her lemonade stand) Oh, there it is.

Oh, you want this hat? That'll be 300 bucks.

GGolfer

Three--hun--I'm sorry; look, I am not paying you any $300 for my own hat!

LSLemonade Scammer's assistant [Bynes]

Then make is 400.

GGolfer

400? Where did you come--oh, no. I ain't payin'. Nuh-uh.

Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care. Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care. Jimmy got hit with a melon...and I still don't care. What goes up must come down. What goes up your nose...must get gooey. Contrary to popular belief, Jack Sprat can eat fat. Ya just gotta hold Jack down, and shove that fat down his throat! 10 million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. 10 minutes ago, I ruled the women's restroom. (It would actually be more appropriate to say something like, "10 million years ago, horses ruled the Earth", since the dinosaurs had become extinct 55 million years earlier; see The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs and Prehistoric Animals: A Visual Who's Who of Prehistoric Life, 3rd edition [©2013] by Prof. Barry Cox et al., and edited by Dr. Douglas Palmer, for details) If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. If you can't stand being dressed, stay out of your pants. Step on a crack, and break your mother's back. Step on a rusty nail, and you'll go, 'WHOOOOOOOA!!'".

AAnnouncer

"Peter enjoys many hobbies, like photography and knitting. Flem juggles raw meats."

AAnnouncer

"Peter applauds politely when he gives a round of sound. Flem says..."

FFlem

"LET'S HEAR A ROUNDA SOUND FOR 702!"

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