Lynn and ALF in “Love on the Rocks”

Lynn

[while practicing for a play] You will all be glad to see me burn, but if I go through the fire, I shall go through it to their hearts, forever and ever. And so, God be with me.

ALF

Not bad. Do it again. And this time, try to show a little leg.

Lynn

ALF, I'm auditioning for Joan of Arc. I don't really think that would be appropriate. Just tell me if I've got the lines right.

ALF

Okay, but I'm telling you, it would be a lot funnier if you were holding a rubber chicken.

Lynn

It's not a comedy.

ALF

Well, not the way you're doing it. Hey, I've got a great idea! When they strike the first torch grab your big toe and hop around yelling, hot foot, hot foot!

Lynn

I'm tied to a stake!

ALF

You're tied to a piece of meat and you don't see the humor in that?

Lynn

No.

ALF

Well, then you might want to consider a couple of well placed tassels.