Minister, Neal and others in “Love on the Rocks”

[while reading Neal and Margaret's certificate] It always warms my heart to see two people so madly in love. Now, the basic wedding is $45. The videotape, the flowers, and the rice, that's an extra 75. We offer an Elvis witness for $50 or the fat Elvis for 35. So?

Neal

Uh, just the basic wedding. Were those guys ever a bad investment.

We are gathered here to join Neal Tanner and Margaret Tanner. Wh- are you two first cousins? 'Cause you're gonna have to go to Texas for that.

No. It's a long story. With a happy ending, right, Neal?

Neal

Uh, I know this is inappropriate, but, uh, I'll be right back.

Is something wrong, honey?

Neal

Uh, no, I'm, uh, I'm fine. I just, uh, need to run to the restroom and, uh, throw myself a quick bachelor party. [leaves the wedding]