[goes upstairs to the attic] Hi, ALF.
Don't you believe in knocking?
No door.
Well, what if you caught me at an awkward moment?
Let's just be grateful that that hasn't happened.
So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?
Oh, I was just, uh. I was looking around for some other things that Neal might be able to use in his new apartment. Yeah.
No, don't take those!
Why not?
Well, I was planning on using them. Someday. When I got married.
If the day ever comes that you get married. I promise you, I'll buy you a whole new set of saucepans. And I'll dance on them.
It could happen. Look at Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks. He could have anybody he wants. No, not that. You can't give him that.
Well, ALF, this is just an old fan.
It's not just any old fan. I use it to scrape my calluses.
Keep it.
Well, if you see anything else you like, by all means, take it.
Neal is getting his own apartment now, ALF. Hopefully things will be returning to normal here. I should think that would make you happy.
[offscreen] Willie, you up there?
I mean, yeah. Under the bed.
Okay, I will. And I won't let this degrade me at all, in case you're worried. [hides under the bed]
[arrives at the attic] Morning, Willie. I thought I heard you up here.
Yeah, yeah. I was just looking for some more stuff for your new apartment.
What, are you taking in boarders now?
Oh, that bed is Brian's old bed. You know how attached kids can get to their old furniture. Especially after they wet it.
Well, it's nice to know you've stuck to the old values. Oh, hey, I could really use this, Willie. [picks up a tape recorder as hears ALF's hiccups but Willie takes the tape recorder away from him]
The speed's all off. You don't want that.
Oh, hey, it's your old Clairmont High yearbook.
Yeah. I know. Let's look at it later.
You know, that's where I first met Margaret. Future Farmers.
I know.
Boy, that gal could really take down a steer.
Funny what first attracts you to a woman. Let's, uh. Let's go look in the garage, eh?
Willie, you gotta stop sometime. I only have a 1-bedroom apartment. [he and Willie go downstairs with a box]
[gets up from under the bed] If he wasn't the brother of my meal ticket, I'd clean his clock!
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