Lynn and ALF in “We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert”

Lynn

[walks outside with a banana bread and finds ALF hiding inside a box] ALF? ALF, are you in there?

ALF

[inside the box] Go away.

Lynn

I brought you some banana bread. ALF, please come out of there.

ALF

No! If you see me, you'll die.

Lynn

I've already seen you. I know what you look like. ALF.

ALF

I'm double-bagged for your protection.

Lynn

Come on. Eat some banana bread.

ALF

I'm not hungry.

Lynn

You really are upset. What was death like on Melmac?

ALF

Predictable. Everyone died at the same age. 650. There were no surprises. And you could plan.

Lynn

You could stock upon fruit and things?

ALF

Exactly. And the week before you go you give away your personal belongings. The year before you go, your credit cards are canceled.

Lynn

I'd be afraid to know exactly when I was gonna die.

ALF

Hey, I'd be afraid not to know. That's why I feel so bad about Uncle Albert. I took him before his time. Thanks to me, he didn't have a chance to wrap things up.

Lynn

Yes, he did.

ALF

What are you talkin' about?

Lynn

See, Uncle Albert came here to make amends to show us that he really could be a nice guy. A lot of people don't get a chance to do that. But he did.

ALF

Really?

Lynn

Really.

ALF

Well, if that's true then I'll get over this eventually. But I'd still like to stay in this box awhile.

Lynn

I understand. You need some time to think.

ALF

Yeah. [pause] Oh, hey, Lynn? You could leave that banana bread.