[comes home with the groceries] ALF, ALF, are you okay?
Oh, hi, Willie. Did you get the donuts?
ALF, what did you do?
Nothing much. Watched a little TV. Killed a bug.
How did you kill it?
Cheap cologne.
That's perfume. I bought that for Kate on her last birthday.
You had roach problems then, too?
How did you know to use this?
Well, I analyzed the list of ingredients and based on what I know about the physiology of Melmacian cockroaches.
ALF.
I lucked out.
I can't believe you took this roach on all by yourself. You could have been killed.
When it comes to defending my home, I'm an animal. That's just the way I'm made.
Well, I want to, uh, I want to drag this outside before Kate gets back.
No, don't rough it up. Once they dry out, they get brittle.
What difference does that make?
Are you kidding? I plan to have that guy stuffed and mounted, A.S.A.P. I thought it would look good over the fireplace.
We're getting rid of it! [the telephone rings] Hello? Oh, hi Kate, I was about to call you. I've got some good news about the roach and some bad news about your birthday present.
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