[the Tanners quickly head to the kitchen as a storm hit]
Well, do we have everything? Hamburgers, paper plates.
I've got the vegetables and the potato salad.
I've got the buns and the coleslaw.
Why do I get the feeling we forgot something?
[hears a strange noise from outside] Willie!
Oh, yeah. He's pinned underneath the grill. I didn't want to embarrass him by drawing undue attention to it.
[as Willie comes inside, wet] Oh, honey! You're drenched!
Really? I hadn't noticed. I was too busy flailing.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine. No thanks to...
Did you or did you not knock the barbecue over on me when you were running into the house?
Oh, that. That was my fault.
Willie, get out of those clothes right away. Before you catch a cold. You too, kids.
LBLynn and Brian
[as they both leave] Okay.
You don't catch cold from going out in the rain, Kate. That's an old wives' tale.
Hence Kate's knowledge of it.
There's a reason old wives get to be old wives. They stay warm and dry.
No, I was just reading an article about that in one of my scientific journals. It said that volunteers who were subjected to rapid temperature changes and cold water did not catch cold. [sneezes]
I told you, honey. You're catching a cold.
No! Nonsense, Kate. One sneeze does not a cold make. [sneezes]
Just out of curiosity how many sneezes does a cold make?
[Willie is in his room sick while Kate gives him soup]
Have some soup. You'll feel better.
Thanks. I really appreciate the way you've been putting up with me.
Oh, you can't help it. You're a man.
I'll just ignore that. But thanks, though. I have enjoyed the peace and quiet.
I'll get you some more tissues.
Willie, you're a whiter shade of pale.
As a matter of fact, I'm feeling a lot better.
Oh, good! You could have taken a turn for the worse. Developed pneumonia, ended up in box city Left us with nothing but Kate's shaky career in real estate.
Does the phrase "thin ice" mean anything to you?
You know, I think I ought to call the office. Maybe I could squeeze in a half a day.
No. No, you need your rest. You stay right where you are.
Really? I mean, you get to lie around all day, eat, watch TV. How many people get to do that? [pause] I said "people." [sneezes]
I did not. [sneezes two times]
[to ALF, after he sneezed] I think you've caught my cold!
Impossible. I told you before, Melmacians never get sick. Only inferior, backwards species get sick. [pause] No offense.
Just to be on the safe side, you better go upstairs and lie down.
Okay, but I'll need the microwave, the TV, the VCR, and Police Academies 1, 2, 3, and 6. [pause] 4 and 5 lacked the pathos and emotional underpinnings of the others.
[2 days later, ALF is still sick]
[as she and Willie check on ALF] Here are the books you wanted ALF.
Like someone stuffed gerbils up my nose!
Nice touch, ALF. Don't encourage him.
But I really am feeling worse!
My cold ran its course in a week. Isn't it interesting that yours is hanging on so long?
Look at this nose, Willie. There's enough room in there for the viruses to start their own republic. In fact, I think I hear their vice president speaking. [he blows his nose]
[as she felt ALF's head] Feel his head, Willie.
[as he felt ALF's head] He's not.. Oh, my, my, he, he is. He's burning up.
Actually, I'm having a cold flash right now.
I'm sorry, ALF. I feel terrible.
I'll get you some lunch. [she heads to the kitchen while Willie checks on ALF, Willie quickly follows her]
[at the end, the Tanners host a barbeque]
Alright. You take the coleslaw. I'll take the salad.
Today, we finally get to use our backyard blitzer.
[from outside as the barbeque is on fire] I got the barbeque lit! Specifically, the wheels!
[Kate and Willie run outside to catch ALF as the episode ends]
