NNurse
Is this your daughter?
[looks at Saffy and back to the Nurse] Yes.
NNurse
Well, maybe there's a God after all.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
FFleur
[picking up face cream] Have you tried this? It's a triple acting, alpha-hydroxy acid natural complex to reactivate your skin making you... scientifically more beautiful!
Sounds good!
FFleur
"Dermatologists and opthamologists tested non-acnegenic-.." I don't know what this means but it's forcing me to believe it!
DSDream Saffy
And I've decided not to go to university. I'm going to bum around Europe experimenting with drugs, wearing flared denim for as long as it's fashionable.
I'm sorry, darling. It's just had some rather bad news today, that's all.
I need a drink!
It's very bad news actually, Pats.
Oh what?
I'm dying!
You can't!
Well I am!
Well what am I supposed to do if you die?
Get cabs!
[Discussing guests for the funeral]
God, I hope you're not inviting that bloody, bollocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken bastard, pig-dog-man, are you??
You could just say "Dad!" I'd still know what you meant!
[Eddy points to her bag of "Pop-specs".]
It's a sticker with a green tree on it.
Yes.
What does that mean?
Kind to trees, sweetie.
How are they kind to trees?
Well they ain't made of wood, how kind do you want!?
[Feels her stomach in discomfort]
Have you eaten something?
No, not since 1973.
[About Bettina] She was so anally retentive she couldn't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture.
I should have sued. I was cut to ribbons, I was scarred for life!
Extraordinary how it managed to hit you in exactly the same place behind each ear!
[Running down the stairs with four cigarettes in her mouth] Light! Light! Light!
[Provides a light] Pats, honestly...
Bloody hell!
Not another no smoking cab, Pats? They must see you coming these days.
Bloody bastard asthmatic cab driver!
Can I just say one word in my defence?
I don't think that's a good idea, mum, your mouth is working for the prosecution.
[Eddy is throwing out her clothes as fire damage for the insurance]
I could take these down to the charity shop.
Splutters. You cannot give these sort of clothes to the poor! Darling, I'm sure they've got enough to contend with without the added humiliation of wearing last season's, sweetie!
Ey, Eddy, Eddy, remember that weekend with Mick and the boys? Laughs Fantastic!
Fabulous days, darling. [To Saffy] Patsy used to go out with Keith Moon, sweetie.
Yeah, sort of. I mean, I woke up underneath him in a hotel bedroom once.
Yeah, still, that was going steady for the 60s, believe me.
It was my birthday today, Mum. [storms upstairs]
You come back here, don't you think you can just say something like that, hit and run! Now listen, I gave you that birthday, darling. You wouldn't have that birthday if I hadn't been generous enough to uncross my legs and give you to the world, darling. Nobody's thanked me, have they?!
She told me you had a tattoo on your unspeakables!
I didn't!
Eddy?
I didn't. Unmentionables, I said.
That could be anywhere on her!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Absolutely Fabulous pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.