So how did you two meet...Amber Alert?
S2 E7Cougars
S2 E8Secrets and Lies
I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding; I know he doesn't care what humans do.
And finally, I'd like to thank you, Pacific Rimmers, for all that you've given us: karaoke, karate, and most of all... WANIZAME ATAKKU! SHARK ATTACK!
JCJames Carville
Cajun style.
[about C.C.] She is my lover. That's right. She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I'm proud of her. And I'm not going to hide it any longer. I'm Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.
[Others begin confessing their secrets.]
M1Man #1
I gave to NPR last year.
WWoman
My children go to public school.
M2Man #2
I'm gay.
M3Man #3
I'm black.
CCC.C.
Jack, thank you so much. And I just wanted you to know that in 1984 I voted for Ronald Reagan.
M1Man #1
I murdered my wife.
S2 E9Ludachristmas
[regarding his ankle bracelet alcohol monitoring device] Maybe I'll just compromise: go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!
Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.
S2 E10Episode 210
[about coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!
GGerman
The machine is mankind's madness and disfigurement. Industry castrates art. The only honesty is in suicide.
I can't watch any more of these German sitcoms!
S2 E11MILF Island
The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.
I'm so sorry.
I feel like I'm back in that boiler room, making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...
And Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.
This show is the worst. Didn't one of those MILFs die during production?
JDJ.D.
She had too much champagne and a monkey knocked her into some quicksand - it could happen anywhere!
S2 E12Subway Hero
No, we don't have a crazy..thing
Yeah we do! We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay...
Oh no Sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
That's Republican. We count those.
Black people, don't vote! Did you know that in the amount of time it takes to vote you could play three games of pool? Three! Now that's fresh.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.