Wow. The manatee becomes the Mento.
S1 E16The Source Awards
S1 E17The Fighting Irish
So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.
I believe that the moon does not exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it. I believe that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet. Wait... what was the question?
S1 E18Fireworks
So Mr. Donaghy, what can I do for you?
I heard you were talking to my colleague Devon Banks. Did he tell you why he was in New York?
No sir, we just talked about Anderson Cooper mostly.
You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as a page just like you.
Really? So did I!
You say the right things, ask him the right questions, I'm sure he could open some doors for you.
Ok. What kinds of questions?
I'll write them down for you. You call him and tell him you have two tickets for A Chorus Line for tonight. Now Kenneth, have you ever used bronzer?
Devon, what can I do for you?
I think we're way past that Jack. Let's be honest with each other. I'll go first. I'm gay and I want your job.
Devon, I'm straighter than you are gay, and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind. I'm not afraid of you.
Yeah? Well you should be.
Let's just see how it all shakes out in the meeting.
Yeah, let's... Oh, by the way, little slim-waisted birdie in a page jacket told me you got nothing! You're going down.
No, Devon. I don't do that.
S1 E19Corporate Crush
[Liz enters a room and stands behind Jack]
You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
How do you do that without turning around?
To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.
I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.
S1 E20Cleveland
PPhoebe
You know how John Lennon was better than all the rest of the Beatles but he never realized it until he met Yoko? Well I'm gonna be Jack's Yoko!
You want to be Yoko?!
FFloyd
If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland.
S1 E21Hiatus
CColleen
[referring to Phoebe] All right, scout's honor, what do you think of her?
[Jack gives Liz a look]
She's very well-read... and she's very stylish, don't you think? And you know the most important thing is she makes Jack very happy. She's like a... white geisha.
CColleen
Tell him his mother's here! ...And she loves him! ...But not in a queer way!
You've got to get back to work and come up with something with or without Tracy, or we are gonna be screwed.
Okay.
Maybe this is the drugs talking, but I think I got Nixon to agree to come on the show and say "Sock It To Me."
S2 E1Seinfeld Vision
All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
MILF Island?
25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
I'm telling you, this is my year. I feel like the show's going to be great and I'm very positive that I'm going to meet someone else.
Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.
JSJerry Seinfeld
Still talking?
Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
JSJerry Seinfeld
Mhmm. It's not over.
Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
JSJerry Seinfeld
No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.