You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?
Oh, you're right, Liz! I should go for it!
You're not even listening, are you? Poop. Monkey butt.
No, you're a good friend and thank you.
S1 E12Black Tie
Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.
I'm twelve years younger than you.
A woman your age then.
I had lunch with Martha Stewart and "dinner" with her daughter Alexis.
Gross.
S1 E13Up All Night
I want back all the jewelry I ever bought you.
BBianca
Fine.
I want the art supplies I gave you on your fortieth birthday and any subsequent art projects you made with them.
BBianca
Fine.
I want all of our love letters.
BBianca
[laughing] Fine.
I want all of your parents' love letters.
BBianca
Fine.
I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride.
BBianca
Oh, dammit Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar.
JJosh
Cerie said she would do it with you.
Well that just makes me perspire.
FFloyd
I work up in Legal, and —
[interrupting] You're a lawyer?
FFloyd
I prefer... Law Stylist
S1 E14The C Word
I've asked Tracy to join me at G.E. Golf tournament in Connecticut.
Was Courtney Love not available?
Damn straight. I'm delightful.
[attempting to explain the word used to insult her]
It rhymes with your favorite Todd Rundgren album.
It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?
[looking at a basket of kittens]
Oh...Look at theeese guuuys
CWCat Wrangler
They like you. They're very good as sensing debilitating loneliness in a person. Do you wanna adopt one?
I can't. I'm allergic to anything warm and adorable.
S1 E15Hard Ball
DCDot Com
Yo, Kenneth, we need to talk now.
Oh, I've had this conversation before. You're marrying my mom, aren't you?
Second of all, if the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again? It's time for a change, America. That's why I'm voting for Osama in 2008.
S1 E16The Source Awards
If you get rich off this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.
I truly don't like you as a person. [inspirational music starts playing] Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
SSteven
Liz, I wish it could be like that... and maybe someday our children or our children's children will hate each other like that, but it just doesn't work that way today.
So what you're saying is that any woman that doesn't like you is a racist.
SSteven
No, no, no, no, no. [music stops] Some women are gay.
That's where Donaghy Estates comes in. Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's Wine Newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of Satan after a hefty portion of asparagus."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.