A character in You're the Worst
5th most-quoted character in You're the Worst: in 4 of its 56 quotes
Most scenes with: Vernon (2)
Do you even know what love means?
Yeah, it's like, "Hey, I love you. Smooch, smooch. Now go make me some bagel bites."
Love isn't about having someone to get you things. Love is putting someone else's feelings above your own. Do you think you could ever do that? Honestly?
Ew. [beat] I didn't mean that.
Whose house is this?
My biking buddy Conner, his wife Mimi died recently.
What happened?
Recumbant bikes have many good qualities but sometimes they're hard to see from up high. The driver of the semi never knew she was there, poor thing was dragged three miles. I've never seen Conner pedal so fast. He kept motioning frantically for the truck to stop. But the driver thought he wanted him honk. She was actually alive until the semi got on the freeway.
Well that's the most terrible thing...
Sad thing is Mimi didn't want to go out that day because her safety flag had been stolen outside the junior high but Conner told her that they could stop at the bike store after they raced to Starbucks for tea.
Please give my condolences to Conner...
The really sad thing, is that Conner wanted to let Mimi win, because her impetigo had been flaring up again, that's the only reason she reached the intersection first.
I don't really need to hear...
The extra sad thing? The whole time she was being dragged towards the on-ramp she was texting Conner, her phone still accessible in its holder on the handlebars. I saw the texts...they're quite chilling.
I'm thirsty. I ate too many Blammos and I spat on these ants too much. You got any water? I drank all my sodas.
No.
I hear a creek.
You can't drink creek water. It's not safe.
Nah, I can't get sick. To build my immune system, I lick weird stuff at the hospital all the time. In surg, they say scrub up, I just fake go through the motions. Come on.
That's to protect the patients.
Agree to disagree.
Never thought squirrel could be so delicious.
Nuts are high in protein and fat. Makes for tender flesh. People forget I'm a doctor and I know shit. Hey. Check out his little squirrel dick. You dare me to flick it?
Ugh.
I didn't know we'd get lost. I was just trying to buy more time. You don't understand. It's a nightmare over there. Becca makes me wear full pajamas so our skins don't touch.
Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally.
I only get 20% of the TiVo. And Becca's always erasing my shows "accidentally." I missed all last season of The Librarians.
Lindsay orders takeout for one. One time I took a French fry, and she made me give her a dollar even though it was on my credit card.
Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute when I forgot to flush a duke.
Lindsey's cucking me.
Yeah, no kidding.
No, seriously. That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul, he's her bull.
What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's You're the Worst pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
You're the Worst · 56 quotes
