Paul and Vernon in “The Seventh Layer”

Never thought squirrel could be so delicious.

Nuts are high in protein and fat. Makes for tender flesh. People forget I'm a doctor and I know shit. Hey. Check out his little squirrel dick. You dare me to flick it?

Ugh.

I didn't know we'd get lost. I was just trying to buy more time. You don't understand. It's a nightmare over there. Becca makes me wear full pajamas so our skins don't touch.

Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally.

I only get 20% of the TiVo. And Becca's always erasing my shows "accidentally." I missed all last season of The Librarians.

Lindsay orders takeout for one. One time I took a French fry, and she made me give her a dollar even though it was on my credit card.

Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute when I forgot to flush a duke.

Lindsey's cucking me.

Yeah, no kidding.

No, seriously. That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul, he's her bull.

What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?