A character in You're the Worst
Played by Aya Cash
You're the Worst · 56 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in You're the Worst: in 36 of its 56 quotes
Most scenes with: Jimmy Shive-Overly (26), Lindsay Jillian (7), Edgar Quintero (4)
[Both looking at a picture of Vernon and Becca's newborn baby]
GretchenIt looks like the fox in the Nine Inch Nails video that's being eaten by ants.
It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady in an Aphex Twin video.
GretchenWhy is its face so swollen? Did Becca give birth directly over a beehive?
Even at an illegal baby mill, they'd be like, "Yeah, that's okay. We're good."
The world is absolutely lousy with people, and I hate them all. I hate everyone but you.
GretchenYeah. I hate everyone else, too. Now, let's look for clues.
You did something really horrible for us. You went to therapy, and for me you did this. And thus, you deserve as grand a gesture in return. And since I am 100% psychologically sound and do not need therapy of any kind...[kneels and pulls out a ring] Gretchen, extraordinary, confounding Gretchen, she who emits more energy than a dying galaxy, despite not washing her legs, together we transcend the mundanity down there. Separate, it shall eventually consume us and turn us as mundane as them, and to allow that to happen simply because we were scared would be a criminal act.
GretchenWait, but the murder?
I made it up.
GretchenThe article? The Twitter account?
Me.
GretchenThe DUI checkpoint?
Oh, no. That was real. No, we were way lucky on that one.
[Gretchen kisses Jimmy]
GretchenJimmy, yeah... Wait. You haven't actually asked yet. I am not doing that again.
Will you marry me?
GretchenYes! [Jimmy puts the ring on her finger] You made a murder for me! Hey, uh, you ever boned down during the Hollywood Bowl fireworks?
I mean, of course.
GretchenYeah, me, too, but not as an engaged person.
I'll get us a hoodie from the car to lie on.
GretchenHurry back. This fits, you know? You lost your dad, but you gained me. We're a family. [Jimmy's smile fades] That's pretty cool, right? We're no longer just whatever we were. We're no longer just us. We're a family now.
[Jimmy takes a hoodie out of the car, then gets inside and drives away]
You know, I almost texted Gretchen again earlier.
Jimmy!
No, I didn't do it. I wrote about a hundred drafts, but couldn't get it right. Probably for the best, you know. Out of sight, out of...
[Gretchen bursts into the house, running and stopping abruptly upon seeing Jimmy, who stands up. She slowly steps up to where she is standing over him.]
GretchenHEY! DOT DOT DOT!
GretchenSo, I forgot to tell you, I had sex with that dummy Ty.
[excitedly throwing clothes, which land on a model] WHAT?!
GretchenAnd then, later that same day, I boned his best friend.
[throwing more clothes] WHAT?!
Should I try a walk, or...
Shut up!
GretchenPlus, he's married, so it can't be a thing. That's right--two guys in a row, just like senior prom.
GretchenI was thinking I move back and we run the roller rink together. Don't say anything, but I'm serious. I probably have a new niece or nephew by now, and our family cat is not gonna be around forever.
Don't move back here, Gretchen.
GretchenNo, I know. But it's not out of desperation. I want to.
Well, I don't want you to.
GretchenIs it because I ghosted you in high school? We talked about that.
You didn't ghost me.
GretchenUh, I did.
Well, you might have, I just wasn't aware of it. Gretchen, we weren't friends then.
GretchenWell, maybe we weren't as day-to-day close, but we were absolutely friends. I have a picture. You were all cancery.
That was when I came back the first time. Everyone wanted a piece of that sweet cancer action. I took photos with everyone. The reason you never came to the hospital is because I never invited you.
GretchenI don't even know what you're talking about here.
We weren't friends after eighth grade. You became a shape-shifter.
GretchenA what?
I know you had family shit and you couldn't be yourself around them, but you'd straight-up act like someone different depending on who you were with, then pretty soon there's no real Gretchen. We'd be best friends on Friday, and on the Monday you'd look right through me. You're just not a great bet to invest too deeply in. Everyone liked you or wanted you, but no one knew you.
[The last lines of the series]
GretchenHey, you know that there's always a possibility that someday I might leave my phone and keys at home and step in front of a train. You know that, right?
[after a long pause] Yeah. But I'll move on really quickly. Like, record-setting.
GretchenOkay.
[They begin eating their own and each other's meals]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's You're the Worst pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
