Gretchen and Heidi in “Not a Great Bet”

I was thinking I move back and we run the roller rink together. Don't say anything, but I'm serious. I probably have a new niece or nephew by now, and our family cat is not gonna be around forever.

Don't move back here, Gretchen.

No, I know. But it's not out of desperation. I want to.

Well, I don't want you to.

Is it because I ghosted you in high school? We talked about that.

You didn't ghost me.

Uh, I did.

Well, you might have, I just wasn't aware of it. Gretchen, we weren't friends then.

Well, maybe we weren't as day-to-day close, but we were absolutely friends. I have a picture. You were all cancery.

That was when I came back the first time. Everyone wanted a piece of that sweet cancer action. I took photos with everyone. The reason you never came to the hospital is because I never invited you.

I don't even know what you're talking about here.

We weren't friends after eighth grade. You became a shape-shifter.

A what?

I know you had family shit and you couldn't be yourself around them, but you'd straight-up act like someone different depending on who you were with, then pretty soon there's no real Gretchen. We'd be best friends on Friday, and on the Monday you'd look right through me. You're just not a great bet to invest too deeply in. Everyone liked you or wanted you, but no one knew you.