Xena: Warrior Princess Season 3 quotes

Gabrielle

I wanted to get there before Xena so that I could betray her. I wanted to betray her. I gave her everything and it had meant nothing to her. I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to be punished. And, I almost got her killed. My hatred and jealousy almost destroyed my best friend.

Ares

So, now you have the answer. The question is can you live with it?

Gabrielle

If the bowl is ever empty, so go my memories.

Ares

And the pain, all that pain.

Gabrielle

And the memories of my youth, my parents, my loves ...

Ares

... the betrayal, the killing, the death of your child.

Gabrielle

And Xena.

Ares

Bottom line, Gabrielle, you won't miss what you never knew.

Joxer

Hey, aren't you forgetting about me?

Xena

No, Joxer, not even Mnemosyne could help her with that.

Aphrodite

Need it ... got it ... hate it ... can always hock it ... Grody! Why do these mortal types always give me fish. I hate fish.

Gabrielle

(in reference to a particularly racy fresco) That's not humanly possible.

Xena

Sure it is.

Joxer

Ah Ah. I Attus, King of Trout and Ruler of its people. I set you free ... huh? ... ha ha ha ha ha ... you tell good joke, Trout Brother. But now I must have tribute. Go. Swim. Be free. Go. Go.

Xena

Now you listen to me, Monkey Man! You ever do that again and you will find my fist down your throat.

Xena

Gabrielle! Monkey-Man, you bring her back! You know, you two are beginning to irritate me with these obsessions of yours and ... FISH DON'T JUST CATCH THEMSELVES!!!

Xena

(Watching Gabrielle put on lipstick from red juice) What are you doing?

Gabrielle

Just highlighting perfection with some berry juice.

Xena

Yeah, looks good on you. Only they're not berries, they're crushed bugs I was using for bait

Joxer

Mmm, Attus not afraid. Attus King of Jungle. (arrow lands in tree between Joxer's legs) Attus renounce throne.

I couldn't have done it without you. The only reason I do any good at all in this world is because I do it with you. You make an important contribution everyday. I'm gonna make sure that people know that from now on.

Gabrielle

Have another look ... what? What is it?

Xena

Alright, Gabrielle, that's enough. Come on, please.

No. There's danger, great danger ... and death.

Gabrielle

Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives.

Xena

Autolycus became a thief to right a terrible wrong.

Gabrielle

I know, he told me. He stole everything from the man who killed his brother. He left him with nothing, just a broken man.

Xena

You see, that was Autolycus' defining moment. He'll always think of himself as a thief.

Auto, Auto baby, you promised me this was gonna work. You're supposed to be the King of Thieves. My father, my father told me he was a loser and a fraud with his phony disguises and that silly mustache, but I will always love you. Oh, you gotta believe me. He put me up to this. You know how he is, with that charm of his, he's so shallow yet so persuasive. I'm not really a bad person. I just fell in love with the wrong man at the wrong time.

Autolycus

Alright, Xena, you've been waiting for this moment since we started. Some good old-fashioned kick-butt - that's my warrior princess-action.

Gabrielle

That's what makes doing work like this worthwhile.

Autolycus

Yes, half naked men running through the square.

Callisto

Welcome to my world, Xena. Now get ready to leave it.